Nothing is Illuminated
by jasminedragons
Summary: She bundled up with cold tea for company and listened to the waves break to tame her insomnia, her feet tucked to the side to think of Jin and Sokka and not feel. Toph's life post-war, one-sided Tokka and Kataang.
1. Prologue

A/N: This takes place during Sozin's Comet Part 4, as Toph and Sokka struggle to keep their grip on each other.

As you can tell, it's pretty Toph-centric. Please provide any criticism via reviews; it's my first ATLA fanfic ever, so please support!

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><p>It was the first time she had ever felt blind.<p>

Dangling from Sokka's hand, a thousand feet stretched beneath her, the vast mouth of the Earth Kingdom's barren and broken land yawning, waiting. Her feet burned with the heat of the lit forest, prickling uncomfortably as the empty air and flames mixed. Gravity was a law, not to be defied; it was as if the Spirits themselves had imposed this on her as punishment for running away. She heard the swish of Boomerang, the clash of meteorite on armour, then felt the gust of wind down, down, down, signifying the loss of their last possible hope.

She didn't know where the adventure ended and the terror of war began.

It was foolish. _She _was foolish- just a little rebellion had landed her in this situation, the very sense she relied on most no longer an advantage here, her one disability taking over. Fear clouded her just as the darkness pressed on her eyes, her whole body tensing, struggling to pull herself up, fighting against the weakness in her arms. She heard Sokka wincing in pain; the hurried footsteps of Fire Nation guards grew steadily louder. _Hang on, Toph!_ Abandoning her futile efforts, she hung limply, her callused feet climbing the air, desperate to find Earth, metal, anything to save herself. Anything to save Sokka.

_Aye aye, Captain._

Her breath caught in her throat, choking any more words back. The drag from the airship's flight buffeted her, pressing all her weight downwards. She felt her hand slipping, slipping, slipping from Sokka's as their sweat and her spit mingled, his fingers desperately trying to find friction with hers. Tears leaked out of her sightless eyes; they were going to fall, and burn with the rest of Wulong Forest. Through her fingertips she felt his blood pulsing, his muscles screaming with the exertion of supporting her weight, the frenetic pounding of his heart that beat in time to her own.

His grip on her was loosening, friction giving out to moisture.

He was her single thread to the world. All around her was black and darkness, an infinite drop to the bottom, and they were exhausted beyond belief- it would almost be a relief to just let go. The tears came faster now, and as her arm and fingers succumbed to fatigue, Sokka seeming to edge further and further away from her. But he was here, his fingers a vice grip on hers, hanging on like he was going to do everything he could to keep her from falling.

Like he was going to die trying.

And then Toph had to laugh, because honestly? She was spending her last moments with her best friend, her never lover, and the last thing she was going to experience was the flush of his skin, the throbbing of his veins, and his fingers interlacing hers.

What a heavenly way to die.

And then he had let go, and she steeled herself for the impact to come.


	2. Heart

He was everything she wanted, and everything she couldn't have.

That summer in Ba Sing Se was unusually hot for the Earth Kingdom. The earth seared beneath her bare feet that day, the dry grass crackling as they made their way to the hilltop overlooking the circles of the city. Her muscles ached, weighed down from serving tea to the thirsty, refugees and natives alike. That's what she liked about Iroh; he was kind and fair to all despite his native country, and because of that, in addition to their delicate teas, The Jasmine Dragon was known far and wide across the kingdom.

They had reached the top. From here, Sokka said they could see all the way to the outer wall, a thin line of sand representing the desert they had traipsed across an eternity ago stretching beyond that, disappearing into the horizon. When the sun hit the wall just right, he told her, the stone shone like a jewel in an assortment of colours; oranges for the exposed top, where the new and now loyal Dai Li patrolled, mossy green for the middle, and deep blues and purples where the shadows resided below. She, however, understood none of this; instead, she felt the lives of a thousand people reverberating beneath her soles, the whisper of the wind overhead, and the searing heat of the sun above.

Colour didn't mean anything to her. She could feel the sadness in his voice as he tried to described things foreign to her; a futile effort.

They sank onto two small stools carved out earth under the shade of the old pineoak tree. She could sense his heart beating erratically from the climb and- something else. His customary steady, loping walk was jittery the whole way up, with him stumbling more than once in his eagerness to reach their special place. His heart told her he was unusually happy, and she wondered what had spurred this excitement.

Her instincts told her she wouldn't like it, and her instincts were usually right.

A comfortable silence wafted between them as they caught their breath and settled down onto familiar seats. The branches overhead curved down towards them, as if Mother Nature herself was offering the duo her embrace. The flowers of nearby trees drifted by, frangipani scenting the air. Toph reached out and caught one by the petal, cradling it in the palm of her hand. Ever since Aang had fought against- and beaten- her, she had trained herself to pick up any sign of movement in all mediums by relying on her other senses.

'So, Snoozles, what's so important that you had to drag me away from work in the middle of my shift and make me climb all the way up here? You think those tea trays are gonna airbend themselves to our customers?'

Her tone was casual, a hint of annoyance and her normal sassiness seeping through, masking the terrible ominous feeling that had gripped her ever since he had shown up unexpectedly at the Dragon, insisting he needed to talk to her urgently. And in private.

Another silence, during which he shifted his weight; she marveled at how his toes curled inside his boots, and the tension enveloping his body. He rummaged in his satchel and drew something out. She saw every muscle move and flex, the pulsing of his heart leaping. That heart- she could pick it out in a crowd of others, so accustomed she was to it. Her own adjusted accordingly, beating out the same rhythm, the pumping blood swirling around to diligently distribute oxygen to their organs.

More silence. Then-

'I'm going to propose to Suki- tonight!' he burst out.

Something caught in her throat- thicker than air, thicker than water. She was choking on earth, her mouth dry as the desert, all air expelled from her lungs as though someone had kicked her in the gut. If only.

He was beaming, his face brighter than the sun overhead. 'Here-' he tossed something at her, and she caught it with shaking hands. 'I'm going to give that to her. Feel it- it's made out of this stone found underwater, in the sea between the Earth Kingdom and my tribe. Tell me what you think, because, you know, what with stones and earth being your specialty and all…'

Her head was spinning; she should have seen this coming, should have done something to just _prevent_ it, even if it meant sacrificing their friendship. How long had it been- six years? Seven? Spirits; had she been alone and pining for that long?

Feeling Sokka's expectant gaze, she opened the box, feeling around inside. Her deft fingers explored the betrothal necklace; a replica of the one Katara wore around her neck. This one, though, was made of a finer, more expensive stone. She weaved it through her fingertips, feeling its lightness, which contrasted its unyielding nature. She flipped it over and traced something she instantly recognized- an intertwining earth and water emblem, something Iroh had shown her once.

Anger suddenly burned up in her, hot and blazing. How dare he just announce to her he was going to up and marry his long-time girlfriend, expecting her to offer her congratulations like everyone else? The clueless bastard! Didn't he remember she was from the Earth Kingdom, too? And how could anyone marry someone after just six (or seven) years together? Hadn't he ever wondered whether his best friend could possibly offer him some respite from the bore that was known as Suki, and add some spice into his dull, irrelevant, non-bender life? It was completely, totally insensitive- he had chosen Suki over her yet again, and this time, it was final. And she hated him for it.

Her body was rigid, the colour drained from her already pale face, a muscle leaping in her jaw. She was well aware of the fact that the stone was curled up inside her palm; her arm shuddered in anticipation. One flex, one flick, one_ twitch_ would be all it took to crush the damn thing into dust. Destroy it, just like how he had come along on a damn flying bison and ruined her life for the next six (or seven) years, which she wasted, spent longing and wishing and hoping for something that, just a few seconds ago, was obviously not going to happen.

'Toph?'

And then it was gone. For some inexplicable reason, it had vanished. Her whole body sagged, her grip around the stone loosening. She closed the box and returned it to him, her face smooth, expression neutral.

'It's beautiful. Nice embellishment. She'll love it.'

Her voice was a monotone, devoid of any emotional nuances. Her mouth and brain couldn't seem to work together. She felt him falter, his eyebrows probably knitting slightly, attempting to understand what was wrong.

So she added, 'Congratulations,' sticking her hand out in his general direction. The word seemed to be poison invading her body, venomous, and she was ashamed of her aching heart, ashamed that she had to rain on his parade.

She felt him take her hand; fleetingly, she thought of the airship, and the fire below. Suddenly he was pulling her off her seat, and they were standing, his arms around her, her face at his chest. His heart throbbed with relief and gratitude as he gently said, 'A handshake? Really, Toph?'

Her arms reached up almost instinctively, circling his neck as she hugged him back. This was the closest she had ever been to him; she memorized the map of blood vessels crisscrossing his back, his warmth, the way he smelled like meat and earth. She wanted to tighten her grip, savor his entire being, and claim him for hers, and hers alone.

But he was Suki's; he had been for the past six, seven years, and he would be forever. Fighting the will to never let go, her arms fell limply to her sides. Surprised and embarrassed, he quickly let go and took a step back too. She felt his hand on her shoulder, and suddenly realized she was crying. Quickly, she brushed his hand away and turned, her head down to conceal the expression on her face. The frangipanis danced with the wind, carrying his scent to her. Loose strands of her hair tickled her face, and she tucked them behind her ears.

Before he could say anything, she spoke aloud. 'I should get back. Iroh needs all the help he can get, what with his old age and all.'

She paused. 'I guess… I'll see you at the wedding.'

Leaving him confused and wondering, the Blind Bandit made her way downhill, her feet guiding the way as tears began to stream down her face.


	3. Meteor

A/N: Hey everyone, thank you for the sweet reviews and asking for update alerts! I hope you all enjoy this chapter; I was originally thinking of inserting flashbacks, but I really want to cover as much of Toph's life post-war as possible. So here's the next chapter- sorry for the angst, please R&R! Ideas, critiques, likes/dislikes are all welcome.

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><p>Summer had never seemed so far away.<p>

It was cold in the South Pole, the temperature dropping to alarming numbers even though it was spring (in the Earth kingdom, anyway). She had had to slip her feet into snug penguinsealskin boots to prevent frostbite infecting her most important appendage. She vaguely recalled the heat of Ba Sing Se, and the thought seemed to distract her from the weather till she remembered the day he proposed to Suki. Suddenly, winter in the Southen Water Tribe was a warm bath in Gaoling compared to the ice shards that seemed to envelope her chest.

She was facing the sea, Gran Gran's old coat drawn tight against her bridesmaid dress, the wind biting at her face. Snowflakes, delicate and untainted by ash, caressed her cheeks, settling into her eyelashes with a sigh. Her milky eyes wide open, she focused on the endless black void stretching across her, tuning out the murmuring of voices and faint strains of music behind her. She hadn't, understandably, had much to eat; she had politely excused herself before Katara had noticed her untouched plate of sea prunes.

The ceremony had been wonderful. Everything was just... beautiful, judging from everyone's reaction. Conducted outdoors, the guests sat on chairs courtesy of Katara and Aang, the tents that served as homes dotting around them, capped with freshly fallen snow. Suki chose to take her virgin walk down the aisle alone; her betrothal necklace was then exchanged for a more elaborate Water Tribe marriage choker, culminating in a kiss between the happy couple. The bride's mother had cried so much Toph had offered her sleeve, which was gladly taken and used to mop up some very viscous mucus.

Throughout the whole shindig, Toph had focused solely on his heartbeat, noticing how it had sped up once Suki had appeared, not quite returning to a normal pace till much later. She had tried not to feel disgruntled; it had been 8 months in the making, with everyone pitching in to create the perfect winter wonderland wedding. Even she had helped; she had busied herself with bringing everyone to their designated seats and ensuring the little kids were in check. Though the boots and snow disrupted her sight, and her heart ached with bitterness, she had truly tried to make that day his happiest.

How long she stood there was unclear, even to her, before he approached, radiating warmth and happiness and a good dose of wine (she suspected cactus juice). She appreciated how he stood by her side quietly, letting her adjust to his presence and general mood, allowing her to gather her thoughts before he spoke.

'You didn't eat much.'

He was gazing out towards the sea, too; she doubted he would be able to see much more than her in the black of the night.

'Yeah.'

She felt his expectant gaze, so she supplied, 'Snow ruins my appetite.'

He shifted. She knew he was looking at her incredulously; she couldn't help coloring and bit her lip. After nearly eight years of friendship, she was still unable to control her emotions around him.

'That has got to be the biggest lie you've ever told me. Come on, Toph; how many times in your life have you turned down food? And Katara's specialty, at that?' He paused, weighing the situation. 'Something's wrong. What is it? Don't turn away from me- I don't see you for eight months and suddenly things are different between us? Toph, I'm still your best friend.'

For someone who had more than his fair share to drink, he was still uncannily sharp- still perfectly clueless.

She was silent, struggling to choose her words carefully before answering. 'Look, Snoozles, it's nothing… Not really. It's just,' she took a breath, then gestured towards him. 'You're married- _married!_- and I'm-'

Alone. The word died at the tip of her tongue; she was too ashamed to voice what had been haunting her for the last eight months. She couldn't bring herself to say it, couldn't tell Sokka how isolation, the feeling of never being wanted, never being needed frightened her so badly she wanted to retreat from the darkness she usually walked so boldly into. The concept seemed difficult to grasp here and now; they were surrounded by light and music and friends. The family she gained (and kept) during the greatest adventure of her life, had, for the past seven years, swept her up in the love they gave so willingly. But now they were all pairing up, chancing upon their mates and making them partners, and she couldn't help feeling as if she was fading into the background, the walls swallowing her up into a claustrophobic shadow. The fact that she was so proud of her independence and stubborn streak made her succumb all the more to her fear, in the deepest of midnights with the stained sheets pulled over her head, her eyes throbbing, chest heaving. Outside, she was undefeatable as the Blind Bandit, but Toph Bei Fong clutched desperately at the nothingness within.

'Dance with me.'

His whisper floated to her alongside the first strains of a new song through the flurried snowfall. She felt him take her hand; shocked, she turned to face him, to confront him, maybe even to land a punch somewhere, and he immediately slid a hand around her waist, pulling her in with such force that they bumped into each other.

She knew she was flushing as he guided her other hand towards his shoulder; he was grinning down at her, pleased at her sudden lack of speech. She tensed in his arms, hoping the snow didn't melt as she felt her body heat spike. They tentatively moved their feet in time to the music, Sokka leading, she following.

'Sokka, what are you doing? I don't dance,' she mumbled. A little belatedly, she realised with some embarrassment.

He didn't respond, just hugged her closer, till his cheek was at her ear, his breath coming out in puffs that dissipated into her ear, swirled around her hair, making her shudder. His arm was strong around her narrow figure, his callused yet soft fingers intertwining with her own. Not for the first time, she wished she could see him as she tilted her head up, lips parted. Their feet moved automatically, their bodies rotating in tighter and tighter circles till the music ceased, the silence broken by the appreciative applause of wedding guests.

She made to pull away, maybe add a derisive snort and a friendly, platonic punch, but Sokka held fast. She tried to get her muscles to relax, silence the thudding of her heart; she listened to his steady breathing, letting Sokka hold her, calming her frenzied heart rate. Closing her eyes, she moved the tiniest bit closer to his torso; she wanted to save this moment for future reference, when he wouldn't be by her side, but with Suki.

And maybe he was doing the same, because, his voice thick with emotion, murmured, 'Toph, I'm your best friend. With me, you'll never be alone. I promise.'

Touched, she buried her face into his shoulder, hiding her smile. 'Thanks,' she said softly, drawing back to give his arm a punch. He squirmed away, and she let a giggle escape her as he hopped around in mock pain.

'Sokka!'

They spun around as Katara stumbled towards them, the drifts catching her mid-calf. Her hair danced in the wind, peppered with caught snowflakes. 'It's time to go!' she called again. She gestured towards Appa, baggage strapped securely to his back, and Suki, who sat in the saddle expectantly, the epitome of the glowing, beautiful bride.

She thought she felt him hesitate, turning towards her, searching for some final words to say to her that could not come. Taking a deep breath, she hitched a smile not quite reaching those expressionless eyes, placing a hand comfortingly on his shoulder.

She squeezed. 'Go knock her dead, Snoozles.'

Toph felt his smile, the brief heat of his hug to both her and Katara, and then his heavy footfalls as he broke into a run, clambering up onto Appa with Suki's help. She heard the cheers and laughter from the wedding crowd, the shouts of goodbyes growing in number as he flicked the reins, guiding Appa into the air and towards Kyoshi Island. Katara placed an arm around the younger girl's shoulders, their faces turned to Yue as they watched Appa disappear into the moon's glow.

Katara eventually left to tend to the dispersing guests, leaving Toph to stare after Appa's trail. Even though she knew he was long gone, her face continued to turn up, eyes reflecting the milky orb. Her hand was still raised in a gesture of farewell, and only did she lower it to gather the shattered remains of what was possibly her heart, buried in the drifts below her feet. Her head down, she headed back to the village, whose lights had long been extinguished, the snow a blanket of her tears.

Once again, she was alone.


	4. Fix

The bad news had come in the form of panda lilies.

They bore her name and his signature. The Boulder helped to dictate what was written, even though she knew what it meant when she caught their scent- the lilies left a crisp, smoky fragrance, having been cultivated on the ashes of volcanoes. Her head began to spin in the heady incense, and she felt the hope she had built around her shiver and crumble, the words sliding over each other in a monotonous blur- 'Suki', 'ill', 'diplomacy talks', 'bad weather'. The excuses continued, vague and impersonal; they left her slipping through the cracks, her hands outstretched, desperate to find a hidden message in his apathetic tone that could possibly offer her leverage to heave herself out of this grave. The Boulder finished reading and left with a sympathetic pat to the young girl's shoulder, setting the bouquet down on her dressing room table gently.

She heard the door shut behind him and promptly grabbed the lilies, grounding them into a pulp beneath her blistered heel. She felt the heat rise in her body, the pressure building up behind her opaque eyes. They threatened to overflow and spill down her cheeks, simply burning all she had left- _what weakness_, she thought miserably, and clenched her hands into fists. The earth groaned and splintered, weaving a dragonspider's web of lies and loss beneath the chair she sat upon.

No. She would not be weak- she refused to. She rubbed the backs of her hand over her eyelids childishly, furious at herself for daring to cling to his empty words once again, for displaying such vulnerability at such a critical time, for even _trusting _him to make it this time. His final words to her at the South Pole were a lie; she hadn't seen him for nearly a year, and the countless letters she sent were replied sporadically, as if he were writing in a long-forgotten journal rather than to his closest friend. She had consumed the letters that he _had_ sent greedily; she had traced her fingers across the pages, admiring the indentations his graceful slant had left behind. She thought she could feel his fingers pressing firmly as he held his brush carefully, his emotions and thoughts coloring the paper black with patient, controlled characters. Sometimes she held the thin paper to her face and inhaled, identifying the ingredients within the ink and the redolence of the countries he had sent them from. The paper smelled of ice if he was visiting the Poles, of meat when he dined at Zuko's, of flowers and home if he passed through the Earth Kingdom. Rarely would she catch that familiar smell of him- beef jerky and humble roots and Suki's perfume. When she was lucky, though, her heart swelled and took off, and she could almost hear the lump in his throat as he held her that chilly night when she swallowed her feelings, letting him slip through the gaps in her small hands.

But she had lost him, the way water couldn't help trickling through her callused hands no matter how much she willed the molecules to stay. It was inevitable, the only natural progression; nothing but the war had brought them together, and now everything was going to tear them apart. She had given him chances. He had returned them with bouquets and bouquets of panda lilies, their intoxicating smell wafting through the aftermath of her birthday party along with so many other events missed or forgotten. No matter how sincere his apologies sounded as they rolled of the tongues of everyone who read his accompanying notes to her, she couldn't forgive him anymore. She was done, and damn it, it hurt to realize that she was just another childhood friend deserted when to her, he was the moon and the stars and the sun, twisted together and imploding upon each other to create the purest, most dazzling spectacle of light that even the blind could see.

She loved him. She loved him with every beat of her tired, worn out heart, with the whisper of wind in the trees, with the heat of the sun beating down overhead. And she had let him go. She was strong, but not enough to fight for what was rightfully hers. She was brave, but failed to risk her heart and her pride, scared of what might happen instead of welcoming it. She was reckless, but shuddered away from the dark mouth of the cavern that stood between her and her future. But where had that gotten her? Alone, living in the present, mourning for a love long gone.

She was done. The tears came fast now, sobs wracking her chest; she curled into herself, her arms entwined around her slender frame. She finally succumbed to the bitterness and hurt within, but she promised herself that this would be the first and last time- enough was enough. She needed to get out of this rut and bloody _live_ her Spirits-given life. No more sorrow. No more regrets.

No more Sokka. She was going to fight, risk everything, and take the leap- for all or for nothing. No one, not even herself, was going to prevent her from achieving happiness, her dreams, and building a future that was actually going to get her somewhere. The war was over, and she was twelve going on twenty. It had taken her eight long, agonizing years, but she had finally, _finally _acknowledged that she had let a little girl crush develop into something too terrible, too powerful, too overwhelming for even the greatest earthbender in the world to control. No matter how hard she had tried, she could not bend love. Her destiny and his were simply not intertwined, and only now was she able to see the futility in her wishful thinking, wasting away several of her precious years. Her love for him had destroyed her, left her broken, crying out for him to act as balm to her wounds.

No one could fix her but herself. She knew that now. No more waiting for someone to rescue her from her throes of despair. Slowly, but surely, she would climb out of this dark, dark hole; she'd scale the earth, grapple at roots, do everything and anything, but on her own. The time had passed for someone to catch her as she fell, as the sky and earth had turned to fire, fingers and sweat and spit intertwining in that split second before letting go.

Back then, she had hung on stubbornly. Now, letting go was the only way to save herself.

She could feel the sunshine on her face. The fresh air whirled around her lungs, as carefree as Aang, and she gulped it down earnestly. Her aching heart seemed to stop, restart, then whir away contentedly. It had been a long time, and it would be a long way to go before she could plant her feet firmly on the ground, strong and solitary, but for now, this was enough.

'Miss Blind Bandit?'

Two assistants appeared, one holding a green cape, the other, the champion's belt. Toph turned in their direction as they bowed deliberately. 'It is time for your turn in the ring.'

She stood, allowing them to drape the fine satin over her shoulders, feeling the light material settle across her delicate frame, the fraying ends brushing against her ankles. She held the jade and gold belt tight in her hands when it was passed to her, measuring its weight, appreciating the intricate details engraved onto the metal. To Toph, it served as a reminder of a continuing legacy to uphold, and she couldn't help smiling at the thought of what was to come.

The assitants bowed again, simultaneously gesturing towards the door.

She took a step forward, relishing the sticky juice against the blisters on her heel as the panda lily underneath squelched unpleasantly. She firmly twisted her foot amongst the torn petals once again, as if cementing her resolve. Then, with her head held high, she exited the dressing room, following the vibrations of pounding hearts and roaring cheers of fans anticipating the next fight.

She stepped into the ring, her toes curling in the dirt, her feet at home at last. Her hands raised above her head, the belt glinting, dazzling in the light.

'Ladies and gentlemen, I present… The Bliiiiiiiiiind Bandit!'

Toph Bei Fong was gone. The Blind Bandit had returned to claim the title of Champion at Earth Rumble XIV.

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><p><strong>AN:** Okay, I realise I totally just ended any chance of having a Tokka relationship in this Fanfic, but I honestly think Toph would have attempted to move on from Sokka. It's just not in her character to mope around (which, incidentally, has been happening for the past 3 chapters, in case you haven't noticed) and rely on someone to create her happiness for her. Sooner or later, she would have snapped out of it, and I have to say I prefer badass/strong-Toph to broken-hearted-Toph. I also wanted to reflect her new determination to take control of her life against what is actually happening- that is, her returning to fight at Earth Rumble. Sokka is portrayed as more than a little callous here (mainly because of his supposed duties as ambassador of the Southern Water Tribe that keep him busy)- totally unintentional, but I suspect he will become much nicer in future chapters.

Also, I realise panda lilies are flowers symbolising love in the Earth Kingdom. I'm assuming Sokka and Toph are both too uninterested to explore the meaning behind flowers, though. I might expand on this in future chapters.

Anyway, these thoughts just form the basis of how this chapter was written and structured. Please R&R, and I welcome any feedback or criticism, whether positive or negative!

**P/S Thank you for all the reviews, favourites and story alerts x**


	5. Army

She closed her eyes.

She felt the weight of two dozen men pulsing in synchronicity through the earth. Their feet rising, lifting, then stomping back to the ground, the earth shifting in response, a ripple of tremors spreading through the dust, criss-crossing and bouncing off another, hurtling towards her feet. They were her guide, her metal rod, a magnet for all reverberations that struck her like lightning, sending a bolt like electricity through her skin. She felt the quivers crashing under her soles like waves, rising rapidly through her body. The outlines and physical exertions of her men and their surroundings were thrown into sharp relief- the bass of their thumping hearts, the quiver of a bead of sweat releasing its hold, the breath expelled from their lungs with each shift in position.

A slight awkward movement- her eyes flew open, ankles twisting to get a better look at the offender. Her feet zeroed in on Jin; he hadn't grasped the advanced stances as well as the others, his clumsy movements sticking out like a sore thumb in the harmonious motion that was the Dai Li. Even though he was a new recruit and had shown promise in his selection round, Toph couldn't help scowling. It was well-known amongst the agents that their Commander had little patience and tolerance for ineptitude. Hadn't she proved that by whittling their once swelling proportions down to a mere twenty-four, making the Earth Kingdom protection unit an increasingly elite force to join? She had kept and recruited only those who had listened and waited, their alert yet patient minds paying off.

She heard the sudden rush of Jin's blood as he felt her moving swiftly towards him, navigating the neat rows of men moving through the drill with ease. It unnerved yet surprised him that the renowned earthbender had selected him as part of her privileged squad; he had never been the best at bending, being naturally ungainly, and he was grateful for the opportunity she had presented him. The sun glinted off her forest green metal military helmet, shaped like an upside-down saucer, her mint eyes hidden from view by her bangs as she stood in front of him, sensing his every movement. A corner of her mouth lifted at his increasing heart speed and spiking temperature; the guy was really sweating. He seemed to be focusing entirely on the task at hand, trying to ignore her presence. This pleased her, knowing that Jin was not easily quailed. The man next to Jin chuckled as he, too, sensed what was going on beside him. In a split second, he was lying on his back on the ground, the Commander standing over him, a rock appearing in her hand.

'Something funny, Hong?' she asked acidly. By now, the others had stopped the drill and had turned to look around, removing their blindfolds. The agents stirred warily as she casually tossed the rock up and down into the air; a few days ago, she had sent it through the head of an Ozai supporter when they were down in one of the provinces, fighting against rebels who were making trouble. They had never seen anything like that stone before. Dull black, she normally wore it as an arm band, but utilized it in the most creative ways when improvisation was required. She never talked about her personal life with them- everyone treated her with deference, and despite the bouquet of flowers they had given to her last week for her birthday (not panda lilies, thank the Spirits- she had chosen them well), her relationship with everyone was mostly professional.

Hong shook his head, mumbling his apology. Mollified, Toph boosted him up with a slab of dirt, walking around the area outside the royal palace they used for practice. 'Remember,' she said, 'This particular drill requires absolute focus. I will not have people getting distracted by their surroundings, especially when the majority of you pussywillows have yet to complete the training without making a mistake, or stumbling over your feet. Do I make myself clear?' Here, everyone voiced their affirmation. 'Good.'

A pause. Then, 'Did I say you guys could stop?'

Everyone hurriedly resumed their positions, replacing their blindfolds, beginning the sequence again. As she passed Jin, she allowed him a deliberate nod of approval so he could feel it through the earth- the young man's heart leapt again, and she couldn't help smirking. It was flattering, the way he reacted; no matter if it was merely her praise that pleased him. In a way, his physical reactions were reminiscent of hers when… No, she decided, making a round around the agents; what was the use of indulging in what had been? Then, she had suffered terribly, her entire being flying into a million pieces because of childhood stupidity; now, she had managed to piece back what _he_ had left of her, and she was content as long as the cracks didn't show. The past was past, and she was perfectly happy with leaving it behind.

Sometimes, in the privacy of her chambers, she allowed herself to wonder what he was up to. Ever since she had taken home the title of champion for the tenth time and burned all his letters and lilies, she had stopped correspondence with him- and the rest of the gang. Decidedly, she had cut off all ties to anything and everything related to him; it was paramount to her mental and emotional recovery, for how could she strengthen her sore heart if salt was constantly being poured onto her wounds? She heard stories of her war friends through Iroh, however; Toph was fond of the old man, and visited him frequently now that she resided in Ba Sing Se. The two had drunk pots and pots of tea together, appreciating jasmine, ginseng and camomile as they whiled away time, engaging in surprisingly meaningful conversations and Pai Sho games on the balcony of the Dragon, overlooking the circles of the city. He was always kind to her, more than she deserved, she thought, never badgering her to re-establish communication with them, regaling her with tales illustrated across rice papers delivered by messenger hawk. The last she heard, when Iroh had returned from the celebration of his great-nephew's first birthday just last month, her four friends were in discussion about the resurgence of pro-Ozai rebels, making plans to strategize with the other nations. She had quickly left the palace the day she felt the flying bison roam the grounds, faking an illness. She had felt a twinge of guilt as she took the long way around to avoid Appa, ashamed of her cowardice, but how could she face them? It was hard enough telling herself that he was nothing to her, and pushing herself to scale this enormous mountain- she knew if she felt his presence at all that disaster was imminent, her carefully constructed façade crumbling unto itself. It just hurt too damn much to not let it show. When the orders came to defend the provinces, she knew they had come and gone, and she sighed with relief. She was too embarrassed to ask Iroh after him specifically, instead gleaming what she could from Iroh's tales- Suki wasn't mentioned at that time, but she understood that she was recovering from a difficult pregnancy. _He_ had probably urged her to stay home on Kyoshi Island and recuperate. She could not erase the memories of him fawning over Suki, herself being relegated to the background on more than one ocassion in the last few years of their friendship. She bit her lip to stem the flow of resentment welling up inside her- she had labored too long over this before, and no way should she be giving a damn now.

She was her own army now, waging an internal war against the demons that sprung up from her mental and emotional wounds. She refused to confide in anyone but Iroh, the old general sympathizing, but neglecting to give her any advice. She understood- it was her battle, her fight. She had launched countless deadly assaults, outsmarted the best of her opponents, her confrontational nature and brutality her weapons of choice. Her internal conflict, however, she was at a loss of how to handle it; she missed her friends dearly, but retreated with fright at the prospect of seeing them. The only plausible solution she had to successfully heal herself was to remove his company, and his company's company till it was just Iroh left. Yet she had chosen a life of comfort and position in the palace, where her friends would inadvertently visit for diplomacy meetings- sometimes, she had to wonder if she was a little masochistic. She was confused but braved the conflicting emotions in her, doing her best to contribute to her country, to make something out of herself. Though she suspected her feelings, her _blasted_ feelings for him would never entirely fade without leaving a mark, she resisted the pangs of loneliness and longing, occupying her waking moments with combat training and meetings. Endless meetings- it was a miracle she had yet to bump into them, or worse, him. She wondered if they knew where she was now, what she had accomplished in these short few months- would they be surprised, happy? Would they even care?

She completed a circle around the Dai Li as they finished up their last stances. Despite the situation with Hong earlier, today had been a good session; Jin was coming along nicely, and the others were steadily improving, mastering her taught method of 'seeing' through her feet. She might even begin removing their blindfolds. With a final fluid motion the agents held their position, and then relaxed when their commander gave the signal, a clap, to remove their blindfolds.

'Good job, everyone.' She removed her helmet, brushing her bangs away from the sweat that began to pool around her brow as the agents gathered around their leader. 'You're all really getting the hang of it- tomorrow, we might even do some sparring. Blindfolds on, of course.' She let the gentle murmur of excitement that arose die down before continuing, 'Anyway, we're done for today, pussywillows; don't forget to check the new roster for your patrolling slots. Anyone caught skiving off again-' here she gave a significant look to an agent, who shuffled his feet in embarrassment- 'will be dealt with. Severely.'

The Dai Li bowed to her, and she back. They turned and began heading back to the castle as she simply stood in the rays of the setting sun, absentmindedly twirling her helmet in her small hands. She was wondering what she would be having for dinner- komodo chicken, maybe?- when she felt Jin move to her side.

She raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to speak before she did. The guy was a bundle of nervous energy- he was squirming like a turtlesnake was caught in his trousers. Was he going to ask for a promotion, or something? No offence, but he did have a ways to go before he would ever reach her level of expertise…

Jin cleared his throat before launching into his speech: 'Commander, I'd just like to express my gratitude at the opportunity you've given me, and I apologize for making a mistake just now. Thank you for being patient with me; rest assured I will do my best to bring honor to the Dai Li, and to you.'

The way he said it indicated to her that he had been planning, possibly even rehearsing, these few words to her. She let her gaze drift over to him; even though it was pointless, she was accustomed to attempting eye contact with people who were so used to it. A small smile crossed her face. 'You do have much to learn,' she agreed, her eyes slightly left of his, 'But I stand by what I told the Council of Five before- you have potential, and it'd be a pity to see it go to waste.'

Maybe she had laid down the compliment a little too much, she thought, for the guy's heart began leaping so furiously it was as if a drum was playing somewhere. 'Thank you, Commander. I also-' he stuttered, and then inhaled to calm himself. 'I also would like to invite you to dinner tonight- the agents and I would be most honored. They are bringing their families to the catacombs, and I'm sure they'd be delighted to meet you.'

Her smile widened- how interesting; did the boy like her? He was hardly older than her, and they had barely spent three months together, most of it consisting of her yelling at him and venting her frustrations on several pieces of flying rock. Her mind wandered to her parents; they would definitely disapprove of her marrying down the social ladder, but at this point, they probably wouldn't care as long as her choice was ostensibly male. Poppy was worried that she'd be 'left on the shelf', and Toph had retorted that she'd rather stay there than hang off the arm of some wimpy man. Twenty-one wasn't that old, she reassured hersellf- she'd have plenty of time before turning into some old maid like her mother made her out to be.

'What about you, Jin? Is your family coming as well?'

She felt him stop fidgeting; he turned away from her, his gaze fixated upon the wall that divided their practice area from the gardens. 'I have no family, Commander. My brothers and father were killed in the war, and my mother passed away shortly before Avatar Aang restored balance to the world.'

An uncomfortable silence settled between them; having lived a sheltered life, she knew little of what had occurred beyond her mansion's walls, including the war. Her first experience with it, however, had been terrifying. She vividly recalled the airships and their fiery descent upon Wulong Forest, remembered the screams of soldiers as she bended them to their deaths. How many had survived her wrath that day- and how many more had not? A lump rose in her throat; she had never thought about the implications of her actions, so young she was then. Did those Fire Nation people have children? Were they like Jin now?

She pushed away the thought, bowing her head in regret. Tears began to well up in the corners of her eyes; it took so little to set her off now. 'All part of the healing process,' Iroh had sympathized, handing her a cup of ocha to soothe her nerves. She reached out for Jin's shoulder, attempting to convey her sorrow and understanding through a simple touch. When he turned to look at her, she fixed him with a look so piercing that for a moment he forgot that she was blind, her eyes a mist of unspoken grief and sympathy. Her eyes conveyed all that words could not; he appreciated how she simply stood, letting him understand how she, too, had felt the despair of losing a loved one.

They remained like this for a while, before Toph punched him in the arm playfully, eliciting a flinch from the young man. Jin, abashed, turned back to the situation at hand, urging her to attend their dinner.

Although she was older, wiser, more sociable and had even adopted some of her long ignored manners now, she couldn't help gently declining the invitation, deeming it slightly inappropriate for the newly minted Dai Li Commander to fraternize with her subordinates so early in her career. She was well aware the Council of Five disapproved of her in such a high-ranking position, and if she was going to keep her life on track, she needed to refrain from antagonizing the bosses. It was Iroh who had personally vouched for her to King Kuei, after all; he was a trusted advisor to the King, despite his status as Fire Nation, annoying the Council. She hoped she could prove her and Iroh's worth, and pissing the Council off would ultimately just lead to even more politics in the office.

Though disheartened, Jin brightened when Toph didn't rule out future parties. He offered to accompany her back to her chambers, which she gracefully accepted; they were just going over the finer points of their training when a servant accosted them in the entrance hall, parchment in hand. Jin helped unroll the note, his eyes flitting over the hurried words dashed across the page as she tapped her foot impatiently.

He looked up. She cocked her head expectantly.

'The Dragon of the West requests your presence at his teashop immediately, Commander.'

Jin hesitated, his eyes scanning downwards. 'He says an old friend is looking for you.'

Her eyes widened.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Hello everyone, first off, thank you for giving me such wonderful reviews! I've changed my writing style a little since the last chapter- more plot, to actually keep you guys interested. I wrote like 1,000 words more than usual! Yay. I also tried my hand at writing an OC. I quite like the idea of Jin, as someone who looks up to Toph as an idol, almost, and she doesn't really know how to react to it. Idk if I should keep him around, though- we'll have to see!

Anyway, I've tried to include some backstory here to clear the air. As mentioned, Sokka and Suki have a child, as do Zuko and Mai, presumably. The Gaang minus Toph is also still together. I tried to inject a little Iroh/Toph friendship in here, because I think they're adorable, and they're both alone in the city with no family nearby, so they kinda rely on each other. Here, I intended for Toph to be authoritative as a leader, but still struggling internally with her feelings for Sokka and the loneliness she feels. I hope to develop this further in future chapters.

Thank you to all who have been with me since chapter 1- please R&R, I love seeing review alerts in my inbox, heh heh. ^_^ As always, critiques, comments and fresh ideas are welcome!

x Laura


	6. Paths

With trepidation, she hurried.

Her bare feet were almost silent as she ran through the entrance hall yet again. The sun was fading fast; someone had lit the scones lining the walls, their flames casting shadows on the darkening hallway with each flicker. She felt their flush, confirming how long she had taken in her preparations, and quickened her footsteps. She burst through the gilded front doors, and then screeched to a sudden halt. Her damp bangs hung in tendrils, their ends tickling her face, her braid hanging limply down her back, soaking through the fine material of her dress. After bidding Jin farewell, she had hastened to the rarely used wooden tub off her bedroom and basked in nearly half an hour's worth of bath salts, courtesy of her mother, and hot water. She had washed her hair- a feat, considering the amount of dirt caked in it- and cleaned her feet. She had stepped out smelling of lavender and soap and clean, dressed in the first silky fabric her fingers had brushed and left, dodging the palace guards and other nobles to avoid awkward questions.

Her eyes were wild as she scanned her left, then her right with a dexterous sweep of her feet, her face darting from side to side. Her breath came in short bursts as she focused- a hundred thousand threads darted out from beneath her feet, searching for the clearest way out, her nerves tingling with anticipation. Instinctively, she headed to her right, making another sharp turn before catapulting herself over the palace wall with a well-placed jump. She landed softly on the other side, bending her knees and lightly touching to the ground with her fingertips to absorb the impact. Another furtive glance around the area with her feet- everything was as it should; she tucked a strand that had become loose back behind her ear, reminiscent of her once youthful innocence. She began to make her way through the circles towards the Jasmine Dragon, the pace of her footsteps only exceeded by that of her heart.

Today, the streets of the middle circle were crowded with people seeking respite from the monotony of their daily lives, drinking in the freedom the weekend brought. She sidestepped the masses that thronged the restaurants, bars and discotheques that lined the streets, the occasional yell from a street vendor peddling his wares cutting through the buzz like a knife slices through butter. The air was alight with the faint pounding of music, conversations abound, the scent of smoke coalescing with that of grilled meat. She inhaled greedily; her stomach rumbled in response to the emptiness inside. She hadn't eaten anything but breakfast that day; her protesting stomach did little to aid the oncoming headache she would inevitably receive. The resulting effect of the various noises, smells and erratic vibrations of so many people were disconcerting, to say the least; as she had told him before, the city was too large, too full, the assaults on her senses overwhelming her, and her head would throb with migraines as her feet curled into themselves to minimize their exposure to the ground. Sometimes, heightened senses _did_ have their disadvantages. She would be a lot less irritable if she could just sample the source of that delectable smell… _No, no time to waste this time, _she reminded herself; she moved swiftly through the crowd, her head down to avoid recognition, inconspicuous in her green dress and messy braid amongst the brightly coloured locals.

Her thoughts drifted to Iroh's cryptic letter. _Old friend_, he had written. She hadn't met many people she could call friends; acquaintances, colleagues, yes, but the only people she could count as friends were the very people she had spent the past year avoiding, deliberately disappearing into the haze of their pasts as their lives diverged into the different futures awaiting them. She had long come to terms with the addiction she had for him, her crumbling life a direct repercussion of her unbridled feelings. In that very moment, she had chosen the path she was on now- to give up, plunge ahead and let go. Yet she couldn't resist looking back with every step she took, her fingers fumbling for foundation, stability and security in the uncharted waters she had impulsively set sail on. She disliked mistakes and loathed admitting them; she realized her alternative options that day at Earth Rumble, but how could she go with them when they all involved _him_? She prized her pride above all her other commendable traits, and telling him- or her friends- how she felt would just about kill her. All her life she had refused the stereotype that stemmed from her appearance, and she would continue to reject the thought of appealing to others for help. She _wasn't_ helpless, and she certainly could take care of herself, no matter what her father or anyone else thought. No, as captain of this ship, general of her army, she would stubbornly see this course of action to the very end.

The hordes of people began to thin as she reached her destination. Most people drowned themselves in alcohol instead of tea at this time of the day, but as she approached the modest teashop, she could feel the stirrings of several people within the building. People… She slowed down and came to a halt, her skin prickling with wariness and a sudden fear gripping her; in her haste, she hadn't stopped to think about the effect this particular person could have on her plans, her _life_. Her longing for her old life with the gang and naïve curiosity had made her eager, dragging her out into dangerous waters. Iroh had mentioned one person, but she was aware of distinct but fuzzy movements belonging to different people in the shop- damn, why did he have to renovate to carpeted floors? Her hand flew up to brush against her wet hair- she had even bathed! And what of her dress- she realized how uncomfortable it felt now, the skirt restricting her movements. She must actually look presentable, like an actual _woman_ now. She coloured as comprehension- the _true_ reason as to her leisurely bath, her enthusiasm in coming to the appointed place- dawned on her. The absence of her usual, healthy coating of earth made her feel vulnerable- her instincts told her to flee, and quickly. What was she thinking? She led a comfortable life here, hidden within the inner circle of the Earth Kingdom's finest city- she absolutely did _not_ need a motherly waterbender, a capricious Avatar and, most importantly, a certain wolf-tailed warrior to sweep into and disrupt her meticulously crafted life.

She was about to turn around and run, her tail between her legs, when she felt it- someone was approaching the doors to the establishment. The fact that they were constantly thrown open to allow the ambrosial fragrances of freshly-brewed tea to waft through the middle circle- a brilliant business tactic on Iroh's part; he wasn't the greatest General the Fire Nation had ever seen, after all- suddenly dawned upon her. She couldn't see them, obviously, but _they _could see _her_. She froze, panic seizing her body as her mind frantically thought of a means of escape that did not involve earthbending whoever it was into next week.

Then the footsteps stopped, and a voice- markedly male and deep- called out her name. A tinge of recognition, relief and wonder mingled through the air. Through the hammering of her heart, the abrupt dryness in her throat, she planted her feet more firmly into the ground, straining to catch just a glimpse of who it was. The person was standing upon the carpeted foundations of the Dragon, blurring her vision of them. She backed away hesitantly, guarded, unsure of whether to approach. If only she could see who he was…

The man moved towards her as he saw her cower away, possibly in an act of comfort. Only when his heel touched the stones bordering the Dragon did she stop, her body relaxing, reversing her progression and walking with confidence up to him, tilting her face upwards in an attempt to meet his gaze.

He looked into the mint eyes of Toph, his breath hitching not at the physical changes that had taken place within the two years he had not met her- when did she have that growth spurt? And her hairstyle was different, too- but the broken, tired soul that peered from within. His arms found a way around her as she flung her arms around his neck, her face breaking out into the first smile that had appeared there in a year, his modest green tunic growing wet with the tears of happiness she shed.

'Well,' Zuko said, patting his friend's head, 'It's nice to see you, too.'

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Andddddd... Toph's mysterious visitor is revealed! What he's here for, though, is a mystery~ Did you guys notice he's in disguise as Lee again? :3 As continued from the previous chapter, Toph's journey along the path she's chosen has been full of obstacles and self-doubt. I tried to keep her as in character as possible, because there was a really good chance that she'd become too angsty and conflicted and just one-dimensionally horrifying, when we all know she's capable of toughing it out, although there'll be cracks showing; anyway I'm just trying to keep her character as layered as possible, with some childish naivety showing through.

I hope this chapter is up to par with the rest- you guys seem to be more inclined to my descriptive style rather than the plot-based one. Still, I really want to get Toph's life moving, although I have the feeling this particular fic is going to extend way beyond 10 chapters, if I can figure out how to substantiate the ending I have in mind.

**Thank you to all who gave me reviews, favorited my story and hit me up with a story/author alert!** I really enjoy seeing all those new messages pop up in my inbox, so please R critiques etc. are all welcome!


	7. Cinders

Yue was out tonight.

Toph leaned back against the chaise lounge on the balcony, her eyes shut tight, the moon's beauty invisible to her anyway. Her fingers curled around the hand rest of her seat, absentmindedly circling her thumb over the weather-beaten calluses embossed onto the wood, stroking them softly into death. The cool night breeze made her bones shake, kissing her pale forehead and lips, leading the loose tresses come undone from her braid in a waltz timed to the vibrations rippling through the earth beneath her soles. It stole through the folding doors left ajar behind her, dancing with the steam rising from the freshly brewed pots of tea and clay cups lifted to the lips of men who murmured their gratitude. It lifted the chatter of the commoners from below up to her, their breaths smelling of wine and fine dining, her surroundings overlapping into each other to fashion a gentle orchestra of melding senses catered to her discerning palate only.

Her free hand brought the small cup up, a slight upward quirk forming at the corners of her mouth as she inhaled the roasted scent stemming from the liquid within the earthen pottery, appreciating the scent. There were traces of fire here- the tea leaves were practically cinders, releasing their fragrance and taste all at once, too quickly, too powerfully. The black tea was strong and heady in fragrance, and probably flavor; it would definitely keep her up tonight. It wasn't as if she minded, though, she thought. She was touched by Zuko's action; she knew Iroh had too delicate a hand to release such a searing flame upon the tea leaves at his shop. Surely his customers would run him out of town.

So she here she was, reclining upon her usual seat, anxiously awaiting the Fire Lord's return from his teashop duties to- what? Renew their friendship, she supposed, she _hoped_, taking a sip of the steaming liquid and rolling it over her taste buds, savoring the burst of smoky essence. Instead of grimacing as she swallowed the bitter dredges, her tongue lashed out to meet them, the ashes crumbling as they made contact with her saliva. Toph settled back into her chair, her shoulder blades chafing against the hard surface through the filmy material of her dress. The tears that had escaped as she embraced her old friend had not entirely finished their conquer of her eyes. She should be glad it was Sparky, and not one of the others, who had come. She should be glad that he came alone. She should be grateful that at least one of her old friends was concerned enough to want to continue their friendship, check up on how the youngest member of the old group was faring...

Yet she couldn't ignore the disappointment that was alight inside her, painful and sharp, writhing against the delirium that Zuko's visit had brought. The two conflicting emotions struggled and thrashed against each other, the burnt remains decaying within her. It left the taste in her mouth acrid, bitter; she loathed herself for being an ungrateful spoilt brat, ashamed and embarrassed that it was even possible for her to still feel this way about _him_ despite the mental and physical restraints she had given herself. It made her feel desperately weak, like _he_ was the only reason she existed in spite of everything she had done to strengthen and heal herself. The walls she had built to protect herself were collapsing, fading into cinders like _his _letters, the air filled with smoke and dust, choking her and leaving her gasping for a breath. Her tears were salty and fresh, burning a hole where they fell, the air around her rife with misgivings as she watched the flames consume her carefully constructed path, the embers cutting her off from possible salvation.

She drained the cup and laid it on the wooden table beside her as Zuko made his way to the balcony, closing the shuttered doors behind him before taking his seat next to Toph. She wasn't one for talking nowadays; like in the way she bended, she now preferred to wait and listen. Accordingly, she poured herself another cup of tea to fill the silence, her hands fumbling slightly over the wooden table. She sipped her tea noncommittally, focusing on the rim of her teacup and the movements of the black tea she could feel within. She didn't want to know why he'd come here; she had a sneaking suspicion, and if that was the case, it'd be better for both of them if she immersed herself in the delicate pattern the pottery possessed along its sides and pretended not to know.

'Toph,' the Fire Lord began gently, leveling her with a concerned glance. 'I think you know why I'm here.'

'Actually,' she replied, her voice neutral as she surveyed the teacup, 'I have no idea.' She might be pretty damn good at detecting a lie when it was told, but she highly doubted that Zuko possessed the same ability.

He was silent as she gulped down her tea, regretting it instantly as the flames licked her throat. 'Do you have any idea how worried I've been?' He took a deep breath. '_We_'ve been? The last we heard of you was from a damn _newsletter_ about how you won Earth Rumble, and you haven't replied to any of our letters for at least three months, let alone tell us you're the Commander of the Dai Li! If the Earth King didn't accidentally let slip about your new appointment in one of his letters, I'd probably still be worried to death! I've been in the air for three days, Toph, coming to see if it were true; did you know that we very nearly set out to find you? Sokka wanted to abandon his ambassador duties; he wanted to launch a search on the entire Earth Kingdom. We had to reason with him, tell him you probably had a good reason for completely dropping of the radar and that you'd resurface when you were ready, but S-'

'_Don't say it!_'

The first time he had said _his_ name, it was like a jolt of lightning had coursed through her body. She feared the second time would set her on fire. With a sudden violent twist, she had turned in her seat to face Zuko, her dead eyes wide and blazing. Her body was tensed, the earthen pottery in her hands and on the table responding to their wielder, two broken cobwebs splintering, shattering into ceramic arrows that cut through the air, hurtling in all directions, tunneling into their graves in the stone floor around the two benders.

She heard Zuko's cry of alarm, his weight shifting just a shade faster than the projectiles she had sent flying. She felt droplets of hot liquid land on her dress, searing her hands, the tea that had pooled on the table tapping a soft melody into the earth below. The blackness she saw was suddenly alive, hazy but deadly, ready to strike at the smallest of distractions. Her nails were digging into the blisters and calluses on the contours of her small hands, which were balled into fists. Her pale cheeks were oddly in contrast to the racing of her heart, her chest heaving and breaths sharp now, her anger and terror and plain hate at that name, the simple _prospect_ of it, lashing out so viciously… She hadn't even noticed she'd bended. Toph squeezed her eyes shut, deliberately slowing her intake of air as she fought to rear her emotions in. What had she done? She felt the poison subside, shame coloring her face. When she felt calm enough, she lifted a trembling hand, in control once again; the shards gathered themselves together, meekly settling themselves into a sheepish mound.

Toph's mouth opened, closed, and opened again, the tip of her tongue darting across the red to wet her dry lips. She drew in a raspy breath and buried her head in the cradle of her hands. She clenched her teeth, the blood and ashes leaking into her cavity; her fingers massaged her tear ducts, willing herself not to cry.

'Don't say it,' she half-whispered, half-growled, her tongue stinging from the snatch of her teeth. She was aware of Zuko sliding out of his seat to kneel in front of her, his hands trying to pry hers away from her face. She responded by burying her face deeper within herself, her organs shrivelling away and into themselves, the only sense she was alive from the dead voice that spoke. 'Please. Don't. I can't… I'm sorry, I didn't mean to- I'm trying, but I can't, I can't-'

She was incoherent, she realised; she pressed her lips together, sealing the words inside herself, letting them ricochet around before spontaneously combusting. Her eyes stayed faithfully dry in spite of the burning in her throat, leaving her to probe where the lightning had struck, where it had left behind only scorches, cinders of the mighty clash of her emotions. She felt her surroundings, her hands and heels blackening as she circled ground zero. The scorches were hot and embers sharp, yet they failed to elicit a single tear, a single cry, or any other emotion from her. She found nothing, just darkness and the aching of her bones, the labored breath escaping her lips. She was tired, so tired; she sank to the floor in grateful relief, spread-eagled on her back. Her eyes opened to survey the emptiness ahead, the path she had decided to take writhing and screaming as the flames consumed her well-laid plans, collapsing inwards, disappearing into the bleak. She was helpless as she watched; rarely had she felt so vulnerable in the face of failure, so at a loss of what to do next.

The heat was unbearable, her nails sharp in defiance. She slowly raised her face upwards, staring blankly into Zuko's worried expression.

'I love him.' The words she had been denying herself, hiding and concealing took flight on her next breath. Her voice cracked with the confession; she held a hand up to stop Zuko from interrupting her, letting her pent-up feelings and thoughts bubble and break over. 'I've loved him for such a long time, and I don't know how to let it go. I've tried, Sparky, but I can't. I don't know how, and it's killing me. I thought if I ignored it, it would go away, or if I cut myself off from everyone it would work, but it hasn't.' Those misty eyes burrowed into his without knowing as she paused, her lip tinged red from where she bit it. 'I'm sorry if I worried you, but I couldn't, I just couldn't... The way he's treated me... He promised, Sparky, he promised me I wouldn't be alone. But I am. Do you expect me to believe you when you say he wanted to find me? He couldn't even be bothered to write me back, or come for anything that meant anything to me... And now I'm just… So tired. Of waiting, and hoping. And now, I've got nothing left.'

Throughout her monologue, Zuko knelt patiently, responding only by the slightest tightening of his grip on her forearm as she recounted her most painful moments. His golden eyes were molten with sympathy and shock, his heart thudding painfully for the woman in front of him; how many times had she picked him up when he was down, helped him deal with the scorn that had inevitably come his way? How many more times had she acted as a sibling to him, giving him a dressing down when he began to let his ego inflate a tad too much? She had always been there for him, for the new world they had fought for, with her annoying jabs giving rise to a vivacious and intelligent young woman. But here she was, visibly crumbling under the burden that she had selflessly taken on by herself, her eyes dry but her soul tired.

Yet he knew she was wrong. 'You've got me, Toph,' he said quietly, cupping her hands in his. For a moment he saw her as the young girl he once knew, the hands he held deadly but delicate, limp in the wake of her outburst, twitching at his unfamiliar touch. 'And the rest. _Including_ Sokka.' Zuko saw her flinch away, but he locked his hands around hers. 'He may have treated you shabbily, Toph, and I can't make excuses for him, but he cares for you, he truly does. I can't imagine how much it must hurt, but if you give him a chance to explain, you might be able to understand why he disappointed you. What I'm trying to say is, we never left, and we don't intend to.' Her eyes were locked onto his now; Zuko knew she couldn't, would never see the intensity with which he was gazing at her, his amber eyes fierce in his comfort and protection, but he hoped she could sense it through his words.

'We can help,' he continued, squeezing her hand gently. 'You don't have to face this on your own. I can't guarantee it'll be easy, or if it'll get any better, but it'd make me- us- at much more ease if you didn't shut us out completely. This doesn't have to consume you. Let us share your burden, Toph. We can figure it out together, talk about it, _help_ you. Please.'

She would have involuntarily, instinctively shyed away; she had grown up relying on herself, showing everyone around her how capable and independent she was. She didn't need anyone's pity. She was powerful. She was strong. But internally? Not so much, she realised now. Shambles of her love life lay littered around her, her soul and mind and heart bleeding and wounded.

She felt her muscles relaxing, giving in, letting herself hang freely and heavy under Zuko's grasp. His heart beat steadily, the feel of healed burns reminscent of holding a flame in her hand; his hold on her was determined and unyielding, seemingly expressing his sincerity and concern. She could feel the shell she had built around herself splintering, her ignorant resolve disintegrating around her. The cinders blocking her orifices and dirtying her hands and feet melted away into dust and vapor together with her intent, leaving her ethereal being cleansed and pure. She felt light, the wind and sun caressing her face, Zuko's hand leading her away from the world of isolation and misery she had built around herself. She could breathe again without gasping, feeling like a bone had been removed from its lodging in her throat. She opened her eyes and saw the solid earth beneath her feet, the cooling atmosphere so different from the stifling existence she had condemned herself to. If she looked, she could see a new path rising from the ashes, Zuko standing upon the threshold, acting as a beacon of light that offered her guidance, warming and reassuring her.

'Please.'

Their gazes didn't falter. His breath hitched into a sigh of relief as she nodded her assent, his arms catching her as she fell by his side, sagging into his shoulders. He held her like that for a little while, quiet as their chests rose and fell together. He let her collect herself before they stood and made their way back into the teashop. At the threshold, he offered her his hand, gentlemanly as ever- something Sokka had always done for her. She hesitated, catching herself in the action of normally batting everyone else's help away with a haughty huff, perhaps inserting a declaration about how her blindness probably better than his own sight.

Instead, she resolutely took his hand and let him guide her into the unknown.

* * *

><p><strong>AN**: Hey everyone, so we now know why Zuko's here! I know it doesn't seem like such a big deal, what he did, but I really wanted to develop the Zuko/Toph friendship (which I think is absolutely adorable, by the way) to show how the bonds run deep in the Gaang. I think it's also important to emphasise how the Gaang sticks together and remains very close-knit, hence Zuko's arrival and search for Toph. I don't have much to say about this chapter, actually, except that friends are always there when we need them, no matter how trivial (or big) the problem. Friendship is one of the most palpable themes in A:TLA and I wanted to bring that out. For all of their quirks, Team Avatar really does work well together and care about each other deeply. They try to help as much as they can, with Zuko actually playing a part in all the characters' turning points in their life (including Toph, now, haha). So basically what Toph learns here is that sometimes, you need to rely on those around you to see the light. And this is one of those times.

Also, this chapter (and the ones before!) have been inspired by songs. This one was _Hysteric [Acoustic Verson]_ by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. Hence all the talk about the cinders. Lol.

As usual, please R&R, critiques, ideas and everything else are welcome! :3


	8. Swim

Autumn was upon the kingdom, the beams of the afternoon sun probing her awake.

Or perhaps it was the deft movements of Meishi across her bedroom floor, disorientating the calm river of sleep she sailed down upon. Toph sat up, grumbling slightly, her hair wild and cheeks still smudged dirty from yesterday's session with the Dai Li. The bed sheets fumbled for a grasp around her slim form, crinkling the night slip she wore, pooling at her thighs and stained with her footprints. She stretched, feeling her bones crack with satisfaction, the muscles in her arms flexing, straining against her arm band. She swung herself out of the four poster bed, tentatively feeling out the earthen floor before padding over to her maid.

'Morning, Meishi,' the Commander yawned, settling down into her usual seat. She breathed in deeply, appreciating the scent of her breakfast before reaching out for the fork that lay next to her plate to attack her meal with relish, a usual occurrence.

'Actually, my lady, it's past twelve o'clock. You've missed two meetings this morning,' Meishi informed her apologetically, her fingers fluttering to a napkin, cleaning the spilled bits of egg tumbling down from Toph's fork.

Toph blew her bangs out of her eyes, increasing the speed with which she stuffed her face. 'Training ran late yesterday,' she complained through a mouthful of meat. 'I'm entitled to some extra sleep.'

Her young maid picked up a duckturtleshell brush and began combing out the tangled mess of Toph's tresses as she spoke. 'Of course you are,' she murmured placatingly, extracting a few lost pins from the disorder of her hair and twisting it into a neat bun with expertise and efficiency. 'But the Council is really very displeased, my lady, and I think it _would_ be best if you refrained from raising their ire so often…'

Her omelet consumed, Toph grew deaf to the mutters of her well-meaning maid; she had heard it all too many times before from the entire Council that she swore she could remember their lecture by heart. She threw down her fork and raised the coffee cup to her lips, downing the inky liquid, so like Zuko's burnt tea, in one gulp. She had always joked about how she liked her men like her coffee: dark, strong and tall. How ironic, she thought wryly, the truth often was.

Zuko hadn't seemed to appreciate it as they strolled through the streets in search of a satisfying cup, perhaps realizing how close the truth hit to home. That was the day before he had returned to the Fire Nation, Iroh in tow for his monthly visit. She had accompanied him to the train station and handed him her written letter sheepishly, attempting to cover it up with her usual slouch and scowl, punching Zuko's arm with amazing accuracy when she felt the gentle pride of his voice as he praised her for moving in the right direction. He had bent down to give her a swift hug that she pretended to grimace at, promising her that they'd see each other soon, that he would ensure the letter was read by its various recipients.

And then he had boarded the train with his uncle and left. She had stood there for a long while afterwards, a solitary figure on the platform. She had watched the train pull away to the nearest Earth Kingdom dock, her arm graceful in its arc of farewell. The bustle of people with destinations to reach, journeys to complete had echoed around her as she stared wistfully into the distance. She was a lone cliff in an ocean of activity, the waves of people in motion caressing her prone body. She had always been the one to say goodbye, the one rock steady and solid in a sea of change, letting the tides mold her as she stubbornly held on. But she was going with the flow now, part of the swift waters of life, leaving her place in the dependable mud behind. She was swimming instead of sinking, gulping down the pure clean air as she surged ahead, the foam gathering in her wake, buoying her up even further. She had re-established contact with her friends, her agents were excelling in her training, and the Council had stopped treating her as an inferior, although they were still annoyed if she didn't turn up to meetings, as she invariably did.

She sighed, rolling her eyes as she realized the chatter had not ceased; sometimes, Meishi reminded her a good deal of Katara. Motherly and chiding at one end, or else all girl and giggle on the other. She stood, slipping out of her bedclothes and into the tunic and pants Meishi withdrew from her closet. A few words caught her attention; she thought back to the schedule so insensitively imposed on her, realizing with dread the occurrence of a tour around the city this afternoon. Something about 'showing the city we care'- she scowled; all pure political crap in her opinion. Though she had purpose and was highly valued in the city, it was no more befitting than her home back in Gaoling. Cutting off the young servant, she tugged at her sleeve such that it covered her arm band: 'I'll be around, Meishi. If the Council comes looking, tell them you don't know where I am, or that I'm off in the lower circle.'

She allowed herself a mischievous grin as she exited the chamber, letting her door swing shut on her maid's oncoming protests. Once the information had been extracted from Meishi, the Council would no doubt give up their search for her, disgruntled, saving their admonishments for the next time. Nobles like them did not venture beyond the inner circle, and they frowned upon those who did. She suspected that they had only lived that long due to her enormous self-restraint. She set off down the corridor quickly, prowling through the more obscure passageways and checking the ground at regular intervals. This cat-and-mouse game was enjoyable, appealing to the Runaway within her, the prize- managing to steal away from the Council's strict regime successfully. It didn't matter if she had a destination in mind, or a task to complete; the cocktail of freedom and asserting the lack of authority anyone held over her left her thirsty, far too tempting to resist.

She ran down to the royal messenger hawk station, demanding what was hers and securing it with rapidity, turning on her blackened heel to flee once more down the invisible sunlit hallways. Always, always she anticipated the letters from them, and always, always did they bring her joy and comfort, whether they came from far-off places, the palace of the Fire Nation, or the various apartments where the ambassadors resided. Tracing her thumb over the wax seal of the scroll in her hands, she noted the familiar ridges and solidified material signature to the Water Tribe. The paper was thick and official, bringing the proverbial smell of snow and ice and cold, the prelude to the deepest of white winters. This time, it was him; she knew Katara was partial to the thin papyrus sheets that were lightweight and compact, perfect for the nomadic lifestyle she now led with Aang.

Accordingly, she burst into a run, searching for the person who wrote and read her letters for her when Iroh was unavailable, or when she was just too impatient to make the trip downtown.

She could think of his name now, could speak of him without the slightest tinge of resentment or bitterness. Her heart still twinged slightly on occasion, but it was not the sharp metal razor blades that had seared her those past few years. Zuko had been right; what time had not healed, her friends had. They offered her their counsel discreetly, taking care not to offend her volatile ego and coming to stay with her in the palace for days at a time in the first few weeks. She suspected they had chided Sokka for being less than caring towards her, for his letters came frequently, like clockwork now, going on for pages at a time that it sometimes took an entire afternoon for Jin to read his letters and take down her dictated reply.

Her friends had thrown her the life jacket she had so desperately needed against the tides of her obsessive love, teaching her how to prevent it from getting the best of her, from defining who she was. She had been drowning in her own tears and sorrow, and now she was swimming with all her might, widening the distance between her and that that had nearly ruined her, an ocean and a half between them. Her friends would not let it touch her again, and they urged her on with encouraging words on paper and short, impromptu visits.

If he knew how she felt, still feels, about him, he didn't reveal it in his letters. They were casual and friendly, the voice foreign but language familiar as the pages rolled of Jin's tongue; any hidden message indicated by inflections were lost in translation. Somehow, though, they were oddly comforting; inside jokes were conveyed hesitantly by an uncertain Jin while she chortled and explained, regaling tales of their adventures to him. Reliving her childhood inevitably led to conversations about him, then life and love and everything in general, and for that short moment she imagined it was Sokka who was sitting there instead of the Dai Li agent. She would miss her best friend terribly, feeling guilty for being able to converse with someone else with such ease. She would feel a pang- she still loved him, didn't she? A sharp stitch in her side, or a sudden cramp in her calf. For an instance, the water would fill her lungs, the echoes of her love reverberating through her being. Then it would fade, and she'd smile at Jin and listen to the steady pump of his heart, reminding herself that she was here and he was not and that was all there was to it.

She found him in the library, where he spent his free time browsing the shelves and wandering the massive aisles. They often met there as a result, settling into the cozy leather chairs, unraveling the parchment across a knee-high table, his tenor quiet and lilting, spiraling up to the high ceiling of the library, penetrating the dusty eaves as extrinsic words were read aloud. She didn't pretend to fake an interest in what she could not see, but she liked the way the room smelled, of long forgotten memories and a quiet reverie. Sometimes she came here when running from her responsibilities to soak in the lonely atmosphere; on other occasions he read to her, books sprawled across the floor as they leant back into the shelves, the spines of books imprinting themselves onto her backbone.

Today she dragged him away from the books and flung him down onto the couch, settling herself down next to him, eagerly ripping the wax and unraveling the scroll. She could feel how he flushed as he caught the letter with fumbling fingers, his smile as he observed her excitement, edging slightly further away from her in embarrassment. She gave a delicate sniff; she didn't smell that bad, did she?

She shrugged and turned her thoughts to the stream of words that had poured out of Sokka's brush, flowing now from Jin as he cleared his throat in anticipation. She was still and quiet throughout the recital; Sokka's words were a melody, the paragraphs like dulcet cadences. In her mind, she was marveling at the construction of United Republic with him, coursing through the air on Appa's back, the wind whipping through her face, holding the warm bundle of Sokka's child in her arms while he looked on proudly, all in tune to the crisp consonants uttered by Jin.

The letter ended with a '_Love, Sokka'_, as it always did, the words platonically affectionate on paper, but rising in a wisp from Jin's lips, molded by his tongue into something sacred, something that _meant_. His voice was tender, the soft strain of his emotions filtering through his vocal chords. She let out a breath she didn't know she was holding, a smile playing on her lips as she mentally ran through the words once again, pretending to be absorbed in her own thoughts as she snatched a look at Jin with her toes.

Before, the letter would have weighed a hundred pounds heavy in her mind; now, it lifted her spirits, a life preserver in these dangerous waters, preventing the snagged edges of her bitter self from entangling between her legs and pulling her under. She could be friends with Sokka, if she tried- hard. She did wonder what it'd feel like to have her feelings for him disappear entirely- like an artistic masterpiece suddenly wiped blank. To be honest, would she know how to pick up the brush, taint her fingers with the brash colors of life and start anew? She couldn't, didn't dare admit the truth to herself.

As she spent more and more time with Jin, she felt the gradients of her artwork shifting ever so subtly, the special place in her heart becoming too tight and small, a geyser waiting to erupt. She noticed similarities between the two- the way they moved when they were uncomfortable, the way they held a brush, the exact temperature of their skin. Elements of Sokka lingered in Jin, her memories of him fresh and melancholy, longing and acceptance diverging to the different poles of her mind. She relished his letters; they served as a confirmation of his existence, the reality of her emotions and her own essence. They were proof that he still cared and that she was still breathing, unable to touch him but living with its consequences.

The consequences were unexpectedly uncomplicated. Jin laid the sheet out in front of him, reaching for the blank canvas of paper and a brush that lay carelessly on the table, left by an anonymous stranger. Before he could stain his brush with ink, Toph stopped him, a hand on his arm to restrain the movement.

'You know, Jin, I think I'll leave it till tomorrow. There's supposed to be a storm tonight, and anyway, there's a chance I'll get to see him at the talk next week, if nothing happens.'

The ghost of a sigh escaped her, marred by an awkward crook of her lips. Jin nodded his assent, then, spying out of the corner of his eyes, moved quickly to dodge the punch she threw him and the potential bruise that was to emerge, bending a pillar of earth between them. She gasped, offended, and leapt up, their laughter echoing off the arches and beams of the library as he too sprang up and she gave chase.

'You're getting faster,' she remarked, eventually catching up to him in the section furthest from the snooty librarian's disapproving glances. She bended his two feet into the ground with ease, encasing his hands together in a mesh of earth and pinned him up to the shelf behind him before he could blink, let alone crouch into his fighting stance.

'But not fast enough.'

Her breath was salty, hot on his face, aggressive in the whirls of clouded history in this room. She heard both their sharp intakes of breath, the heat rising in both their bodies as she realized what she had insinuated. She was sinking, her limbs immovable and heavy, the dead weight of her actions clawing at her throat. Her windpipe contracted involuntarily, refusing admission to oxygen lest she do or say something stupid once again. Her brain screamed at her to do something, and do something _fast_.

After an eternity, her limbs defrosted back into place, and she withdrew her hand from his rising and falling chest, the reverberations through the floor markedly different from the one's she had experienced and memorized over the years. She bit her lip; she was his Commander, and he her agent. She had acted that way out of sentimental nostalgia and youthful naivety brought on by Sokka's letter, she told herself. That was all, and nothing more.

She punched Jin's arm again, more out of covering up the awkward moment than anything. The action in itself was half-hearted. 'Thanks, for, uhm, helping me to read and write my letters. You know, all this time.'

'No problem.' They didn't move.

She forced her limbs to unkink themselves, and when she was sure she was capable of normal movement, she blew her bangs out of her eyes in faked nonchalance, spinning on her heel with a casual 'See ya later at training', inwardly wincing at the hearty comment.

She had made it halfway down the aisle before he called after her.

'Uh, Commander? Aren't you going to bend me out?'

Her footsteps stopped as she turned halfway, only her profile visible in the dimly lit room. She made to walk back to him, but stopped, the beginnings of that same wide grin crossing her face.

'You know,' she said, mocking evident in her tone as she returned to her original path, 'I don't think I will.'

She felt his panic rising, straining against his bonds. 'Don't be late for training!' she called back over her shoulder. Only when she was tucked away safely in an alcove off the North Wing did she allow herself to groan, banging her head against the wall, then let her Cheshire grin to flicker across her face as her cheeks reddened.

Later that day, as she asked Hong to check the library, she would feel his vibrations heading towards their training ground, his heart heaving with exertion as he hurried to take his standard place in line. She would feel a bubble rise in her chest, obstructing her throat as he panted out an apology, realizing that she had felt those movements from halfway across the palace. And now out of the two dozen agents, his heart was the sound a stone made when diving into the water, its ripples flashing out strong and sure to her. The sudden change in amplitude would frighten her, her surroundings foreign yet familiar at the same time, her toes dipping once again into a pool of uncertainty.

And even later that day after a confused dinner, she would make her way to the library, sitting down at the same table to compose her reply to Sokka herself, the strokes clumsy and ink splashing unceremoniously onto her front, if only to escape the thudding sound in her own chest. She would clutch at the scroll with stained fingers as she stole to the cote, coaxing a hawk onto her arm as she scrabbled at the tube on its back. The grass beneath her feet would be slick with rain, the mud edging between her toes, and she would not care that her hair and tunic were drenched with the tears of the storm.

The rain would calm and soothe her, allowing her vision to tunnel and blur, numbing what she had felt so starkly. She would turn her face upwards, grateful for the escape the heavens brought. It would be cold and wet but breathtaking, and surely she wake tomorrow with chills, but the steady beat of rain on her moonlit skin, the darkness pressing in on her made her forget, plunging her into the deep. It would be a welcome claustrophobia, with her in silence underwater, solitary, the sky and sun and her complicated emotions hazy from ripples, a pinprick in the distance above.

Toph would raise her arm and watch her heart take off, and fly.

* * *

><p><strong>AN**: K first off, guys, thank you so very much for all the reviews, story alerts, etc. given to this fic!11!~* Yes, I am a happy writer. ^_^

On to the story: I'm not entirely satisfied with this, but it's the best I could do to fulfill my goals, which was to develop Toph and Jin's interactions, and her newfound resolve.

I know a couple of you are pining for some Tokka and Toph/Sokka/Zuko action, but I'm afraid that will have to wait till future chapters! I don't know where this story is headed myself, although I do wanna insert some adventure somewhere. Just keep in mind the genre is Aangst. *winks deliberately*

So yeah, a lot of you have critiqued about how Toph wouldn't pine for Sokka for so long, or that she's not the girl we saw in the canon series. Personally, I do feel Toph would pine, because she's stubborn and resistant, and letting go is just not in her nature. Even now, with her friends' help, she still loves Sokka even if it's not eating her up anymore. Add the general confusion of Jin (see above), and she just becomes puzzled and plain confused, because if what she feels for Sokka is love, could what she feels for Jin be valid, and if it was valid why the hell did she spend all that time torturing herself? /ramble So yes, that's what she's kind of feeling in the last few paragraphs.

Also, I really hope Jin isn't a Gary Stu :S I didn't give him much dialogue, but I hoped his personality traits could be gleamed from the narrative... Yeah let me know if I did a good/adequate/HORRIBLE job.

Okay, I've got exams for the next month (till the 1st of December), so I guess I won't be posting any more chapters till then. I'll write, but inconsistently. :( Wish me luck, and I hope you all enjoyed this particular chapter. xx

+ Chapter inspired greatly by _Swimming_ by Florence + the Machine. Play it while reading the chapter, and you'll get the vibe I was trying to recreate.

Please R&R! Critiques, ideas, what you (dis)liked, etc. are all welcome with wide arms~


	9. Closer

The palace was alight with activity, thousands of candle flames dancing over the polished faces of nobles.

Toph was sitting in her brightly lit room, staring sightlessly at the polished mirror before her as her maid flitted around her anxiously. Her limbs were experiencing electric jolts of pins and needles every time she moved them, having remained dormant for an unbelievable amount of time and then fallen asleep. Her vision was thus distinctly tunneled, her feet limited in their ability to wander and probe the earth, rooted reluctantly into the ground below her chair till the feeling and the blood came rushing back. She felt naked and awkward- not only was her sight confined, but she had just taken her first shower in a month, the absence of the usual layer of grime upon her skin and imprinted into her soles oddly disquieting. Perfume and the scent of bath salts wafted off her in tides, their combined fragrance thick and cloying, her native smell smothered into oblivion. She fidgeted in her formal attire, the stays and hooks of her camisole digging into her spine, restricting the movements of her diaphragm as she struggled to gasp for a breath through her mouth, grimacing at the pervasive redolence streaming into her lungs. The silken top she wore over her undergarments was uncomfortably tight, her chest straining against the material, the dark arm band in its usual spot on her left forearm, providing a contrast against the pale green of her outfit. Meishi had styled her hair into fanciful curls, pulled back to reveal the pale refine of her mistress' face, their stiff waves hard and heavy as they hung from either side of her thick, black chignon. Whenever she turned sharply, they swung and hit her in the face _hard_, rock against flesh, each one of her winces accentuated by the artistic wisp of makeup lining her youthful features.

Each one of these things deepened her foul mood, thorns jabbing into her sides, sharpened vines that crept up her legs clawing at her and dragging thin red lines of pain down. She honestly failed to see what the point was. It was just a stupid party for a stupid bear who probably couldn't even appreciate the food, let alone the company and the effort they had made in dressing up. The Council had given her an ultimatum- attend cleaned-up, or else. She loathed the discomfort she had been forced into, being made to attend the so-called 'event of the highest society'. There was no one to clean herself up for, not like that time when- her face hardened instantly, a spasm of a scowl darting across her face, momentarily distorting the manicured features of her face. It was at odds with the lurking shame in her gut, rising to amplify the palette of blush dashed across her cheeks.

He hadn't come that day, to the talk on the establishment of trade routes between the Earth Kingdom and Water Tribes. For once, she had taken the initiative to actually be present at the meeting; she had woken up two hours earlier and removed yesterday's dirt from herself, donning her arm band prominently on her uncovered arm. She was more than a little disappointed and hurt when her feet detected nothing familiar in the crowd of foreign bodies, and had accosted Hakoda after the hordes of officials had left, remarking upon his son's absence. She soon found out how he had returned to Kyoshi Island to see Suki and his son, letting his father take over his ambassador duties. It was a last minute decision, the Chief of the Southern Water Tribe had assured her, due to Suki's unrelenting pleads- they had only dropped him off at the island three days before, en route to Ba Sing Se. Toph had then thanked Hakoda, the polite smile hiding daggers, then gone to the Dai Li training arena for some individual training. Anger had loosened her bending, making her movements sloppy and free, her limbs flowing in a haphazard dance, leaving her sweaty and exhilarated but no less upset as she surveyed the rubble that had once been the wall separating the gardens from her agents' training grounds.

She let out an audible sigh, wondering when she'd finally get the message Sokka was obviously trying to send her and just give up hoping. A year and a half had gone by since she had last danced with him upon the freshly fallen snow at the Southern Water Tribe. What were the chances that he would even make the effort to come see her, now that he had a family to look after? She chose to ignore the fact that Aang, Katara and Zuko had the growing shoots of their own families to tend to; Sokka was probably caught up in the honeymoon phase of parenthood, she reasoned. She could _just_ recall the way he used to take her hand, guiding her as they strolled, an anchor in unfamiliar places, like a parent tugging along their small child. The memories were vague, viewed through a sheet of water, blurred by over six month's lack of use. She allowed a melancholy smile to flicker across her lips, reminding herself she was an adult and hardly needed someone to take care of her, not when she was one of the most powerful benders in the world. Still, it was nice, the smallest of his actions translating into his affection and concern for her. It was something she missed and reveled in; for all her independence and capability, it was refreshing to let someone else take her hand and tug her in the right direction.

'Finished,' a satisfied Meishi sighed, her fingers giving a final twirl to the curls framing her mistress' porcelain skin, curtains to the frosted windows of her eyes. The maidservant stepped back, studying Toph's reflection in the mirror while the latter continued her dull, empty stare. She nodded to herself, approving; it had taken close to three hours, two instances of pleading and a loofah, but she had finally gotten the Commander of the Dai Li to look like a presentable, pretty, and most importantly, _clean_ young woman.

'You look amazing, my lady, if I do say so myself,' Meishi declared, her eyes roving appreciatively with barely-masked pride over her masterpiece before skipping off to put away the bottles containing the various cosmetic products used. 'I wouldn't be surprised if a few dignitaries tonight took some notice of you!'

Toph grunted, blowing her bangs out of her face. 'Yeah, sure.' Her voice full of sarcasm, she heaved herself out of her chair and ignored Meishi's gasp as she tread on the hem of her trousers, wriggling her toes to alleviate the prickling feeling in her lead legs. It was a stroke of luck on her part when her maidservant allowed her to don a garment she could actually move in, never mind that it was uncouth and unladylike for her to wear pants to a royal party. Meishi had seen to her hair and face for the contrasting effect. A last smooth to her clothes, a last patting of her hair- she made herself stop suddenly, frozen with her hand halfway to her chignon, her mouth pinched but resigned.

She didn't care what she looked like normally, so why would she start now? It wasn't like he was going to be there. She had been too proud to ask if he was coming in their last letter, helpfully composed by Jin this time, since his reply to the letter she had written herself had been something along the lines of _I can't read your handwriting._ Moreover, the official invitation had been sent to him courtesy of the Royal Internal Affairs department, and she had restrained herself from asking if had accepted to prevent herself from getting hopeful. Hope was her downfall, a momentary savior giving way to the gaping caverns of disappointment and deeper anguish. If he wouldn't come for an international economic talk, she highly doubted he would attend a party for Bosco.

For her.

She let her eyelids drop over her eyes, an impatient breath fleeing from her nostrils, concealing the stabbing annoyance of her melancholy as she stepped over the threshold of her rooms, a small palm pushing the wooden door open. Together, she and Meishi left her bedchambers in silence, the latter walking to the right of the regal, imposing figure Toph now cut, slightly behind in deference. His ghost drifted on her other side, visible in her mind only, a vague outline of supple muscles and the scent of musk and meat. It had been too long; she had already forgotten the things she once held close to her heart, tucked away in neat pigeonholes in her head, categorized into _important moments_ and _smell_ and _feelings_. She didn't remember how warm he had felt, or what his laugh sounded like. She couldn't even remember the way he sounded- all that echoed was Jin's tenor, interspersed with a gruffness she knew was derived from Iroh's. She had taken fragments from his messengers, piecing them together to substitute the sound of Sokka's voice. His heartbeat was growing fainter as the miles between them remained, ever constant, not close enough to feel, not close enough to refresh her recollection. The one thing she recognized as him was fading, shifting across the fine line from reality to her imagination. She was losing him, cupping water trickling away in her hands. The hallways were empty like her memory, scones lit, the fire casting pools of light across the darkened corridors, breaking through the windows to dance in the cool night air.

Like a lighthouse guiding ships, or a flame attracting moths, the illumination drew people in, casting faint photons on those arriving on foot or carriages drawn by ostrich horses. She felt the rumbles of four nations' worth of government officials, nobles and the occasional gate-crasher three floors beneath her, every step, breath and beat seeping through the brick, spreading out and upwards, growing smaller in magnitude as they passed through the thickness of the palace walls. They felt like the ants she had shown Aang nine years ago, insignificant and quiet for all their worldly importance, inconspicuous wrinkles on the face of timeless stones. Toph was already tired, her fresh feet dragging slightly, her soles rubbed raw and red. Resigned to the awkward small-talk and forced mingling that would inevitably come her way for the next three hours, she had desperately wanted to stay in bed and let the Council be damned, but her friends would probably track her down and rip her head off in their overprotective fashion if she started avoiding them once again.

They soon reached the Ballroom; she could feel the weight of dancers gracing the floor in time to the lilting melodies of the band hired for the occasion, just a distance away from the entrance hall in which she now stood. The murmur of voices, music and the gentle clink of wine glasses intertwined, fingers reaching through the closed, heavy green doors edged with gilded gold to caress her ears and feet. Toph turned to her maid, letting an exasperated groan accompany the rolling of her eyes, evaporating into the lonely atmosphere. 'Well. Here goes.' As an afterthought, she muttered, 'Wish me luck,' prompting Meishi's departure to the servant quarters in the lower levels of the palace.

She turned her attention back to the door as her maid's footsteps faded, lifting her hand imperiously, her palm facing outwards towards the metal doors. On cue, they swung open noiselessly, the impurities in the strong steel yielding to her will, revealing the grandiose space awaiting her. She strode in, her steps purposeful and confident, hands clasped in front of her as the noise faltered for a moment upon the crowd, only the announcer's clear voice audible in the decrescendo of the buzz as her title was proclaimed. People parted on either side of her like waves, the undertones of respectful, almost awe-struck greetings pervading her immediate area. She inclined her head towards those who had bowed, returning them when she encountered someone with a higher rank than her, artfully brushing past one or two people who had attempted to accost her. The Council, she noted, were scattered across the room and eyeing her appearance with grim approval- at least she wouldn't get any grief from them later. As she cut through the majority of the room, the hush that had descended quickly dissipated as the attendees turned to their partners to partake in gossip once more, no doubt centering on her controversial appointment. Only when Toph had reached the head of the long buffet table did she bring her strides to a halt, pausing to ruffle Bosco's furry head.

'Hey there, big guy,' the Commander murmured as Bosco devoured a lizard chicken leg. 'Happy birthday.'

The bear looked up, his moist nose nuzzling into the palm of her callused hand. Toph chuckled at the sudden wetness, guiltily remembering the names she had called him, then let out a yelp of surprise as someone grabbed her from behind, lifting her off her feet. The arms encircled around her waist were slim and lanky, a familiar pulse emanating from his wrist. They bounded across the room, startled nobles hastily moving aside to avoid being bumped and their drinks from spilling; she felt a wide grin cross her face, her panic at the sudden loss of vision giving way to peals of laughter at the mischief they were causing already.

And then he had set her down, her feet comfortably finding lodging with the marble, the tendrils of her nerves becoming excited and transmitting the heartbeats of the group of people she now found herself with upwards, their warmth stifling hot as they gathered around her eagerly in the summer heat of the room. Shouts of joy deafened her sensitive ears in their close proximity, arms and legs entangling, bodies of varying heights enveloping her petite frame, three different heartbeats and another muffled beat she couldn't quite identify puttering away harmoniously, quirkily offbeat and independent of one another.

'Aang! You're choking me!' Toph gasped, pushing ineffectively at the lean arm looped around her neck in a headlock. The young airbender loosened his grip by the tiniest of fractions before Katara pushed him out of the way, wrestling her from Zuko's embrace as his wife stood by, watching the enthusiastic greeting with ironic amusement.

'Stop it, boys, you'll wrinkle her outfit!' she scolded, holding Toph out in front of her at arm's length. Katara swept over her friend's appearance with a critical eye, taking in the well-tailored outfit that provided such a nice complement to the moon in her skin, the discreet brush of make-up stroked lovingly across her features, eventually dissolving into a glowing smile. 'Oh, Toph, you look amazing,' she sighed, reaching out to finger a curl. 'Your outfit really brings out the green in your eyes. You know, you really should dress up more often. Meishi must have put in a lot of effort for tonight. Not that,' Katara hastily amended, 'You don't look beautiful already.'

Toph accepted the compliment with grace, her smile genuine in its longevity as Aang piped in, 'Did you hear, Toph? We're pregnant!'

'So that's what I felt- congratulations, Sugarqueen, Twinkletoes! ' she exclaimed, reaching out to gently probe the slight curve of Katara's stomach. A quiet, faint tremor of a pulse, its origins deep within, met her fingertips. She grabbed Katara into another fierce embrace, punching Aang's shoulder and grinning slyly in his direction as her eyebrows were raised suggestively. 'Well, you guys have been busy! Looks like that lingerie set I got you guys for your wedding worked.'

As Aang and Katara turned scarlet at her deliberate happy wink, Toph turned to the Fire Lord and his Lady, bowing formally to them, which the two royals returned. 'Hello, Commander,' Mai commented, giving her signature faint smile as Zuko bent down to give his friend a one-armed hug. 'Have a drink?'

Toph peered round from the broad expanse of the Fire Lord's shoulders, her face brightening in anticipation. 'Hey, thanks, Sharpy!' A cool glass was pushed into her hand, the smell of some strong alcohol pervading her nostrils as she lifted the drink to her lips. Mai gave the Commander a flicker of a wink she would never spy, moving off to greet (and possibly intimidate) some nobles who had descended upon their group. Toph swallowed the spiked liquid, the sudden rush to her head welcome- she knew only the best, least alcoholic rice wine was being served to avoid offending Aang's teetotalism, and in her opinion, the stuff was beastly and acidic like stomach juices. She and Mai shared a common affection for the use of knives in close combat (she had experimented with her arm band with the dark haired girl before) and hard liquor. Despite more than a year of missed meetings, she was glad that their tradition of sneaking in quality spirits and adding them to unguarded drinks, with hilarious results, had not been discontinued.

Zuko glanced down at her glass, clearly displeased. 'You'd better enjoy that,' he snorted. 'It was meant as a gift to the Earth King.'

The Commander of the Dai Li glanced up at him sharply, nervous, directing her gaze slightly off of his. 'You know? About… this thing?' Her tone was uncertain, the glass rotating absentmindedly in her palm. 'It's harmless, I swear; we've never done anything that's gotten people hurt. It's just for laughs, you know?'

'Well,' Aang hesitated, as if testing the malleability of the earth with trepidation, then plunged on ahead anyway. 'Actually, we all know about it. Don't worry, I'm not offended or anything. We just decided you'd need some of the strong stuff tonight, and since there's only that alcohol you hate so much available and the fact that the only decent beer had been brought by Zuko and Mai...'

The glass stopped its orbit between her hands. Her friends stiffened in response, pre-empting what followed that well-known reflex. Their working eyes focused on the wine glass, the floor beneath their feet, the interesting streamers draped around the pillars, anything but the awakened suspicion that seemed to bore through them through useless eyes.

'What's so special about tonight?'

Her voice was dangerous, suspicion and needles hiding behind a transparent veil of innocence; it was the springing of an unexpected rock from the ground, the formation of a sharp edge from what was once a harmless arm band. She measured their responses; Aang had begun shifting his weight from foot to foot, determinedly bending the mineral water in his cup as if it was the most fascinating thing in the room. Zuko's heartbeat had started racing, his body heat spiking in his formal attire, making him pull at his collar uncomfortably. Katara seemed to teeter on the tips of her toes, balancing precariously before yielding her weight back to gravity.

'Toph,' Katara reached for her hands, masters of water and earth melding by touch. The waterbender's spine seemed to straighten as she took in a breath to steel herself, then collapsed as she sighed, resigned. 'He's coming tonight. We just didn't want you so tense, it's a party, I mean, you should be relaxing-'

Toph wrenched her fingers from Katara's grasp. Her eyes narrowed, a furrow creasing between the penciled eyebrows. Even though she already knew the answer, the words tumbled from her mouth, controlled emotions riding on the thin waver of her voice, ending high. 'Who _exactly_ is coming tonight, Sugarqueen?'

The doors swung open again, pulled open laboriously by servants this time. Someone lumbered into the room, his strides loping, steady and sure. She felt the pump of his blood, the contractions of his muscles, her mind involuntarily piecing in captured fragments to complete the string of heartbeat notes reverberating from him. She turned to face the doors, a compass needle swinging to its pole, prey to the laws of magnetism. Was it just her, or was the crowd thinning in front of her once again, forging a clear path for his bodily beats to run uninterrupted through the ground, speeding straight towards the sensitivities of her feet? Now, only _now_ did she remember- curling of toes inside boots, the transference of heat in a snowfall, the booming bass of his laugh. The smell of meat- that never went away, either. Her ears became deaf to the soft greetings of other nobles, a roaring sound competing with the stunned silence in her head. She brushed off Aang's cautionary hand, one foot in front of the other, closing the miles between them in reality and in her memory.

The thin quaver of the announcer: 'Master Sokka, Ambassador of the Southern Water Tribe.'

She was hurtling towards him at the speed of light, closing the millions of miles between them within a fraction of a second. She was drawn to him, his heart playing her siren's song, the old routine of her pulse adjusting to his lurching back. Half of her mind was blank and numb; the other, urging her to either stop or run back to the safety in the shelter of her friends. Yet her body continued forwards, subtly pushing the crowd away, making her way towards him- she knew, she _knew_, she remembered. His heart was drums and bells and lodestones, loud, tumultuous and magnetic, the amplitude creating a buzz that rose through her body, mixing with the effects of liquor. She was coasting along the dance floor now, her body suddenly light but aching, a pressure building up behind her eyes as the stains on her mouth melted dry.

They met halfway; she had to blink and brake, digging her heels into the marble to prevent a collision. The nobles and officials seemed to dissolve into thin air, their corporeal conditions muted and fading in comparison to the rush of heat and volume standing before her.

'Toph,' Sokka whispered, a slow smile spreading across his older features like spilt ink across papyrus.

Ship to a lighthouse. Moth to a flame.

Halfway across the ballroom, Mai extracted herself from the eager nobles and sidled up to her husband. Together, they stared at the couple in the middle of the room, Aang and Katara already riveted. 'Now,' she spoke softly, her eyebrows raised, the slow rotation of amber liquid in a glass in her hand catching the light just so. 'This should be interesting.'

* * *

><p><strong>AN**: Yes, I'm not dead! I still have 4 exams left, but I had a week's break in between exams, so I managed to piece this together :) Lengthwise, I realise it's a little long, but I just couldn't bear to cut down on her interactions with the Gaang, or her idle musing as she walked to the party. I hope this chapter has been successful in showing a) Toph's alienation from Sokka, b) her newfound duties and attitude as a high-ranking official, and c) the resulting head rush and conflicting feelings Sokka brings, coming back in full force.

I AM SORRY FOR THE VERY BAD (i.e. cliche) ENDING, BUT I LOVE TOKKA AND THERE HAS BEEN TOO LITTLE FLUFF IN HERE. So there.

Apologies also for not replying to every review this fic has gotten- they're all dearly appreciated, and I promise to reply and confirm/dispute your thoughts on what's going on in the story! Once I get more time, that is. D: December 2nd can't come fast enough!

Chapter was inspired by_ Come Closer_- Miles Kane. (I like it. Idk I think it would suit Sokka's entrance here very much.)

Thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed, subscribed, etc. Please continue to R&R, they are my driving force and motivation. :D All ideas, critiques and so forth are welcome x


	10. Youth

_Youth - Daughter_

(because Jessica asked for the song to be placed on top)

* * *

><p>She didn't know how to react.<p>

Honestly.

His voice was smoldering fire, making her bones stick and her mouth dry. The constraint of her camisole seemed to increase twofold as she stuttered to a stop, a mere foot away from Sokka. Toph suddenly became aware of the claustrophobia the room presented, and the heat of so many bodies pressing in on her, beads of sweat breaking out on her forehead as her insides burned from shame and hate and desire. She swallowed, the sand of lit organs grating her throat, wishing for the glass of cool drink she had left behind as her mind scrambled to think of how to respond. What did one usually do, anyway, when the man they (once) loved turned up, out of the blue, for the first time in eighteen moons? When they had been weaning themselves off him and nearly self-destructed in the process?

What was the socially acceptable, emotionally ambiguous way to respond then?

Toph thought of snubbing him, gliding past him in her evening finery without so much as a cool nod of recognition in his direction. She imagined him stepping back in surprise, hurt; she would leave him in the wake of her floral bath, grimly satisfied for being able to induce pain unto him, the way he did her. She considered punching him in the gut- _hard_- and continue pummeling him into the earth till someone pulled her off him. Beat him until he was bruised and broken and bleeding, the way she had been for nearly a year.

She deliberated simply walking into his arms, letting the weight upon her shoulders fall into his embrace. She could feel his heartbeat rolling off him in waves, and she longed desperately to let her body sway into the deep, let herself go. How comfortable would it be to close her eyes, letting all her hostility towards Sokka drain off into the flood of his arms and have him hold her close?

The proud, arrogant part of her bit back, refusing to relinquish her overwhelming hold. Toph was rock and she would not melt or yield to the water, no matter how persistent her hunger. She ended up averting her glassy eyes, pointing them in the direction of the solid, consoling marble tiles. She mumbled a greeting, awkwardly locking her short arms around his tall frame as he stepped in to give a hug that was both welcome and frightening. His touch had changed subtlety; the weather-beaten calluses had softened, refined from the lack of hunting they saw nowadays, nearly pillows on her exposed shoulders. His embrace was tighter this time, fierce and lingering like candle's flame, the strength in his arms brimming and overflowing into her small frame that she was afraid her ribs would crack under the pressure, both external and internal.

They had drifted back to the rest, her hand resting in his as she allowed herself to be pulled along, dazed and drunk, whether from the potency of the alcohol or his presence, she wasn't sure. Indecision flooded her brain as she tried to participate in the ensuing conversation, the corners of her mouth straining upwards as Sokka mocked-tackled Aang upon learning of his sister's pregnancy. Discomfort lurked in her gut, her shoulders drawn upwards and tense in her position. She felt so uneasy, unable to pinpoint her exact emotions as her heartbeat spiked when Sokka hooked her arm through his, making light of all the nobles around them and whipping out his worst puns.

He was here in person, after so long. After months of waiting, tears, rushed letters and fists slamming into stone, he had his arm entwined round hers, discreetly slipping dashes of beer into their punch glasses just like old times, just what she wanted.

Toph admitted it would be lying to herself if she claimed to be over Sokka. A small chunk of her heart still resided in his careless, clumsy hands, strong and oblivious enough to squeeze it till water dripped and her eyes brimmed. He was without a care in the world now, physically linking his arm with hers; she could feel his torso twist to look down at her, engaging her in conversation as she took nonchalant sips from her glass.

Toph was pleased when her cheeks didn't flush, that she remained unruffled and was able to direct a well-aimed dig at him once or twice, eliciting the familiar smile in his voice she loved. Yet it felt strange, two adults playing games from childhood. She was wary of Sokka, guarded against the speed of her heart, conscious of the watchful gazes on the two of them from the others. The entire experience was unreal, his corporeal existence abruptly replacing the ghosts he had left behind for eighteen moons without so much as a warning to soften the blow. The space had shrunk in that time, tamed and obedient, now monstrously alive and bursting with Sokka, her head unable to accommodate the change in mass. She couldn't help but replay the last time they had seen each other, feeling ever troubled. His empty promise echoed around her head, the intoxicating smell of panda lilies rising to her nostrils, mingling with the scent of burnt papers and the sound of falling stone.

She had told herself once that they could be friends if she tried. Now, as the hurt surged through her veins, she wasn't so sure.

She was roused from her silent contemplation by a loud bang. The world snapped back into focus as she pressed her feet into the marble tiles; the guests seemed to be converging onto the balconies protruding from the ballroom, their wooden slides thrown open to reveal the studded night sky. Toph heard more bursts she now recognized as fireworks, wincing at the onslaught of noise mercilessly attacking her eardrums; she had forgotten King Kuei set the lavish decorations off every special occasion, beginning with the end-of-war celebrations held nine years ago. She began backing away to the doors, to respite, the crowd cooing appreciatively at the visual spectacle around her.

Sokka's hand tightened its grip on hers, questioning her movements, then finding the answer as she opened her mouth to reply.

'Let's go someplace quieter,' he suggested, helping her push through the advancing mass of people. It was reminiscent of the way he had guided her countless times in preceding years, causing a pang in Toph's stomach and a confused sigh in her breath.

Suddenly she was twelve and young again, her body innocent and clean of all her demons, Sokka a thread weaving across the falling debris on airships and Earth Kingdom nobles, a guide to sanctuary. She felt the same hand that was different, larger and stronger with the palm bearing softened scars and healed wounds; but they were still hanging on to her own tightly, no hesitation in those long fingers, an old tendency carrying on.

They adjourned to the gardens. The leafy canopy above deadened the bangs and whistles, the chirps of horse crickets foremost in their realm. The appreciative cheers of the crowd were reduced to a soft hum, their surroundings hushed, save for the occasional stirrings of windswept vegetation beneath her feet. He had let go of her hand by now, Toph leading the way to a wooden bench off the garden pathway. He helpfully wiped the damp seat with his handkerchief, presenting it to her with a flourish and a smile she did not return. She avoided facing him, a worry line crinkling her porcelain face. Toph perched on the edge of the bench gingerly, allowing her short legs to reach the ground while Sokka plopped himself down, making the beams creak beneath his weight. Silence hung in the air between them, interrupted by firework bursts at intervals, thickening the invisible wall that had risen from the moment they had met.

'I forgot you didn't like fireworks,' he commented, folding the cloth neatly and slipping it into his breast pocket.

She shrugged. 'Too loud, and nothing for me to see, anyway.'

Sokka waited. The horse crickets chirped. 'So… I see you kept the space rock I got you,' Sokka glanced sideways at his companion, hesitantly gesturing towards the band circling her arm, attempting another jab at conversation.

She started, jerking her hand up to brush across the accessory self-consciously, protectively, then dropped her hand back to her lap, giving a defiant nod. 'Yeah.'

'It looks nice on you.' Sokka paused, receiving no more than the drawing of her penciled eyebrows together over those sightless eyes. He continued, relentless: 'I grew a beard. Did you know?' He stroked the aforementioned fuzz, the obvious pleasure seeping through his tone annoying Toph.

She rolled her eyes, her tongue whipping out for an acid attack. 'It's probably even more pathetic than Haru's moustache.'

She could sense the clenching of the muscles in his jaw at her short, snide comments, hurt although he had been prepared for her usual barbs, trying to work out what was going on. In turn, she balled her own fists up, infuriated at both their attitudes. Sokka gave an audible sigh, tilting his head up, admiring the dazzling display visible from a gap in the canopy as Toph continued her blank gaze, carefully pointed forwards. Splashes of colors filtered through the canopy, the fireworks forming various shapes by the skilful wielding of earthbenders. As one firework exploded into a familiar outline, he prodded his companion excitedly, pointing upwards and urging, 'Toph! They made a firework of Aang, look!'

The last of the fireworks faded just as Toph deigned to turn to him, her lips parted in disbelief; his ocean met her mint, one ironically warm and confused, the other narrowed and icy. It took a long, awkward moment for the animated expression on Sokka's face to slide off like paste, leaving behind features arranged in guilt.

'Uh,' he began. She knew he was reaching behind his head to fiddle with his wolftail, a habit of his, another little prick edging its way through her chest.

'Sorry. I guess I forgot that…' He paused, frenetically searching for a more eloquent phrase before finishing lamely, 'You're blind.'

'Give the man a prize!' Toph snapped back, crossing her arms and wheeling around so that her back faced Sokka's bewildered gaze. Her unforgiving curls smacked her in her face, but she was so incensed the sharp sting hardly registered. Angry blotches of red disfigured the shimmer of blush across her cheeks, her compact muscles shaking in their yearning to chuck some rocks at Sokka to alleviate the growing tension within her.

Through the film of rage hung around her, she felt the stirring of his sinewy frame as he moved along the bench closer to her, the inhaling deeply that signaled an impending speech. She knew his arm was bending over backwards once again to run his lean fingers through his hair before it even happened, knew even before him that his mouth was opening to speak.

'Look, Toph,' he sounded frustrated, tugging at a few longer strands. 'I don't mean to be offensive, but what's wrong with you? What's going on? Did something happen? You haven't even punched me once since I got here.'

She breathed fire, the air rushing in through her trachea, fanning the flames that were already burning. 'My punching people,' she growled, barely civilized, 'Is a sign of _affection_.'

'What does that have to do with any….' He sprang up from his seat, weight firmly balanced in his shoes, arms flailing in wild, indignant gestures; she felt the spurt of energy slow, his stance gradually losing confidence. Again she could practically feel the cogs in his brain as they worked furiously, processing the deliberate inflection on her final word, slower than and catching up to their owner's mouth as comprehension eventually dawned.

'Oh.'

Toph felt his body slump back down onto his vacated seat, his heartbeat vanishing for a second as his legs swung upwards before thudding back down in a motion reminiscent of a flopping fish. Sokka groaned, doubling over to balance his head on a hand. When he spoke, his tone was cautious and steeped with guilt. 'What did I do this time?'

She uncrossed her legs, removing her arm band in a fluid action and running her thumb over the smooth surface, turning it serrated. Toph kept her expression neutral, almost blank as she replied, as carefully as she could, 'You broke your promise to me.'

Sokka blinked. 'Promise? What promise?'

To Toph, that innocent answer felt as if Zuko was burning her all over again, the blaze writhing up from her feet and consuming her entire body. She fought to subdue the dull constriction of her throat as she heaved, inhaled smoke filling her corrupted lungs. A detached part of her brain wanted to laugh, to imbibe the moment with a sarcastic, cutting remark at Sokka's expense at how characteristic it was for him to forget such a thing. The rest of her felt numb, upset but not surprised at the fact that her best friend had apparently no notion of, in her opinion, what was the most important pledge he had ever sworn to her.

Toph took a breath to steady herself, smoothing out the jagged surface of her space rock with her bending. 'The South Pole?' she suggested, arching an eyebrow. 'Your wedding? Something about, I don't know, how you were my best friend and that you'd always be there for me?'

Her voice was clear and cutting, metal blades dashing out from behind a mockingly thoughtful intonation. A familiar scorching feeling in the region where her tear ducts were located; her stomach flipped over with the growing anger she felt as she spoke, reliving the painful memories originating from that moment. She didn't have the patience to await his excuse- he had had eighteen months to explain, failing to make use of them to satisfy her, aiding and abetting the worst instances in her short life. Toph plunged on, riding on the waves of lava seeming to erupt from the volcano that had remained dormant for so long.

'Eighteen months, Sokka,' she spat, a muscle leaping noticeably in her jaw as she bore down on the Water Tribe Ambassador. '_That_'s how long it took for you to come and see me- and before that? Yeah, barely any letters till Sparky got on your back about it, and even then they were all short and _Dear My Most Precious Diary_-like entries. You hardly ever asked about me, or offered to come and see your supposed _best friend_. I had to stay in the same place for weeks at a time, terrified that I'd miss your letter when in actual fact, there wasn't even one to send anyway!'

She stopped for a breath, before launching back into her rant as she felt the muscles around Sokka's mouth work. 'Don't even _think_ about trying to save your sorry ass with some miserable, well-thought out excuse,' Toph snarled, digging a finger into his chest. 'You've had plenty of time for that, and what have you done? Zilch, zero, absolutely nothing!' Her fingers flew, manipulating her space rock into a dagger, stabbing it dangerously close to Sokka's leg in the bench, splintered wood falling to the grass beneath.

She felt the thin trail of wetness sliding down her cheek before she realised she was crying. Toph brushed it off angrily, smudging the mascara into a dark, malevolent streak, turning away from Sokka, who reached out for her arm and let his hand fall on empty air. The only times she had dared to shed her tough exterior in front of him occurred when she was twelve, when he had listened to her seethe about her mother and when only he stood between her and death.

Toph missed the sweet, thoughtful fifteen year old warrior she fell in love with, who cracked bad jokes and invented ridiculous words, tickling her and making her feel like one of the family. She used to marvel at his intelligence, the innovative methods he came up with to save them more than once. She wondered now if he missed the girl he knew nine years ago, all sarcasm and independence, always striving to prove her worth. Time had passed, modifying their nascent identities into something she felt was so divergent from their friendship ages ago. Sitting here, listening to his evolved heartbeat in her evening garb and heavy hairstyle, Toph felt aged and jaded, sentimental over lost youth and its accompanying adventures.

His fingers closed around her hand, his touch sorrowful and warm. 'Toph…'

She flexed her fingers, wriggling out of his hold and clasping her hands together, forcing air through the blocked passage of her nose. 'I get that you have a family. I get that you're busy with your job. But would it have killed you to write to me regularly, or just made me feel like I was worth your time?' Her voice was slightly nasal, cracking towards the end, her eyes swimming but defying gravity. 'I wanted to see you during so many events, but you weren't there. Earth Rumble sucked without my best friend. And you know I hate flowers- panda lilies? Really?' Her laugh was harsh, at odds with the sickened expression on her face.

'Don't even get me started on what happened- or didn't, actually- on my birthday. Best friend- I sure didn't feel like _any_ kind of friend for the past few months. You just made me feel like the seventh wheel in everyone's life, the Avatar's earthbending teacher who had overstayed her welcome.' Toph bit her lip, painfully aware of the can of worms she was opening up; still, she intended to finish what she had started.

'It was hard for me, Snoozles, to go through all that, especially when you promised me you'd be there. And you turning up tonight… Maybe you shouldn't have come,' Toph finished, shaking her head, curls swaying. Her lashes left black imprints on her upper cheek as she let her eyes close, running through the sensations he had evoked.

'It's not that I'm angry.' She caught herself. 'Well, I kinda am, but I can't stay mad at my best friend forever, right? I'm just… hurt.' She gave a pensive smile and contemplated the word, nodding; it fit. 'That's all.' Her voice was low and quiet, devoid of the previous venom spurring her on, the sheer simplicity of her sentence rising in a tremor before fading off.

Silence settled over them; she attempted to repair the damage done to her face in a subtle fashion, thumbing away the downward path of soot, mentally cringing and berating herself at the aberrant neediness of her monologue. Momentarily engrossed in her thoughts, she was surprised to find that Sokka had slid down from the seat beside her, kneeling in front of her in the slick grass and prying her hand away from her face. Toph's eyebrows knitted together, her face ducking down. Despite her blindness, she had no doubt Sokka was looking at her straight in the face, and she was uncomfortable with letting him do so.

'I'm sorry, Toph,' his voice was regretful and pleading, his hands anchoring her flyaway ones down. 'I don't have a right to just waltz back into your life after so long. What with Suki, the travelling the job brought, Koda being born… I got so caught up in my life that I didn't spare a thought for yours. I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am at being such an idiot; there's no excuse for the way I've treated you.'

He paused, peering up into her hidden face and intensifying his hold on her hands as if to express how truly contrite he was. 'I know I can't erase what's done and have a perfect friendship with you, but I'd like to fix this. Our friendship is too important for me to throw away, no matter what my actions have said, and I hope…' Sokka made a gargled noise, then cleared his throat and tried, 'Uh, I hope that-'

Toph finally turned her face to him, cocking her head to the side as she considered his incoherence. 'Spit it out, Snoozles,' she said, impatient.

'I hope that's the way you feel, too, and I'm really sorry and I beg for your forgiveness, oh-almighty Toph Bei Fong,' he answered in a rush, stringing the words together in one breath and kowtowing comically.

Toph felt herself hesitate, then immediately questioned it. Monitoring his steady pulse, she knew Sokka was penitent and sincere in his apology. So why continue being bitter and resentful, when she could repair the damage done between them and clear the smoke choking and aging her?

Seeing her falter, he added hopefully, 'So, best friends?'

She smiled, a glint appearing in her eye; did he really think it was that easy to earn her forgiveness? With a few agile arm movements, Toph heaved a rock from the ground, making it cannon into Sokka. It caught him in his gut, driving him backwards till he hit a tree, its leaves shuddering at the impact as horse crickets resentfully voiced their distress.

'That,' she chaffed as she made her way towards his prone figure, 'Was the cheesiest, most cringe-worthy apology I have ever received. If you think that's going to cut it, you have some serious brain damage.' She helpfully rolled the stone off his chest, returning it back to the earth. Sokka sat up, his hands checking for broken ribs, spluttering and gasping for breath as he eyed her warily. Toph had shifted into a commanding position, her legs spread firmly apart with her arms akimbo as she glared down at the warrior.

As she felt the quickening pace of his heart, she allowed her expression to dissolve into a smile. 'But I guess I could make an exception,' she shrugged, bending down to offer a hand. 'Just this once.' She failed to observe the complementary sheepish grin breaking out across Sokka's face as he took it, pulling himself upwards, however.

'You still owe me, though,' she huffed, stabbing her finger into his chest. They stood there for a fleeting second, Toph looking away pointedly with her arms crossed, Sokka now grinning openly as he dusted grass patches off the back and knees of his formal suit. He hadn't missed the transient blush appearing across her cheeks, knowing she was relieved that she had aired her grievances and that the awkward moment was now over, with their friendship back on track.

Flicking a stray horse cricket off his shoulder, Sokka looked towards the palace they had left, then down on the stubborn form of his best friend. 'You know, this party's a total bust,' he stated casually. 'No alcohol, and all.'

Toph inclined her head towards him, her false scowl vanishing; she took up a disinterested air as she dissected the meaning behind his words. 'I _could_ use a good drink right about now…' she murmured, strolling back to the bench and removing the dagger with a strong upward force. As she bended it back into its rightful place on her arm, she continued, 'There's a bar down in the lower circle. The Clucking Chicken. Stupid name, really, but they serve great beer, and they play a mean game of arm-wrestling down there.'

Sokka tucked her arm around his, winking happily. 'You read my mind. Let's go, quickly, before they realize we're gone.'

Under the brilliant night sky, the stars illuminated the two shadowy figures as they vaulted the palace walls, one using a well-placed jump, the other earthbending. Their tailored clothes hardly fluttered, and their footsteps were hushed in the bustling nightlife as they stole down haunted alleyways, arm-in-arm, adjacent pieces of the same puzzle. The night stretched out before them, their years excruciatingly eternal as the lives of a thousand glowing stars spread out above the darkness of their heads. They switched easily from bantering to bickering, rhythmically in sync in their verbal tango and the fluttering of impish hearts. They were young and carefree, bonded in their quest for drink and renewal, eagerly contemplating the prospect of abandonment that lay ahead. Tonight, Toph swore to herself to bask in the company of her soulmate, her best friend, to drown her bitterness in the bottom of her bottle and celebrate the luck of others' successful love.

'You're buying.'

'No way!'

Silence- then the unmistakable thump of colliding flesh sounding through the darkness.

'_Ow_! Geez, Toph! Okay, okay, I'll buy.'

Even though he'd vehemently deny it if she asked, Toph knew Sokka was secretly pleased when she finally showed him just how affectionate she was.

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><p><strong>AN:** I'd just like to thank **TiaBolt**, **Invaderk**,** Blanc Expression**, **limegreenwordmachine**,** tomboy_26**,** Ignorant Sparrow**,** The Joker's Eyes and Ears**, **13designershoes**, **fukaimoriMidori**, and especially **Sokka's Fan-Lawyer** for being such wonderful reviewers and giving constructive, encouraging feedback :)

For this chapter, I've taken all opinions into account and I hope you all enjoyed the end result! I didn't intend for Sokka to be stringing Toph along (erk, adultery? Awkward), so I made it clearer here that she understands she is his friend first and foremost, despite her unrequited feelings (which are now under control!). Every pair of best friends goes through some trouble, and Toph and Sokka are no different; in this case, it's one feeling neglected and left out, because they're pining for the past while the other is continuing on with their future.

I also hope you guys liked the ending- I just realised it's quite like the Tales of Ba Sing Se episode, when Toph and Katara are on the way back from their spa session. Here, though, I wanted to show the re-ignition of their friendship because Toph and Sokka are just awesome together (even more so when they sneak out to raid some bars), and it'd be a pity to have them driven apart because of Toph's proud nature, or Sokka's naivety.

I took a leaf out of** Sun's Daughter**'s fic, Summer's Day, to improve characterisation and dialogue. Let me know if any of the characters are OOC or something, though I really did try to bring out what we saw in the canon in both Toph and Sokka. I tried to link some stuff to The Promise, where Sokka comes up with new words like 'oogie'- who else is as excited as me for that awesome graphic novel, by the way? ;D

Oh, and if anyone likes Zutara, please check out Tales of The Fire Prince and the Water Maiden by my good friend,** fukaimoriMidori**!

All right, that's all! :) Don't forget to R&R if you can- all feedback, concrit and suggestions are welcome. x

P/S My exams are over. In the immortal words of Wescott, party on~~


	11. Heli

_Helicopter- Oh Land_

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><p>'What do you <em>mean<em>, I'm on probation?'

Her chair scraped back with a screechy protest as her palms came slamming down onto the round table, causing the marble below to crack at the impact, her metal cuffs clinking in dissent. Toph was standing, barely taller than she was while sitting placidly on the ornate chair just a moment ago, but the divergence in demeanor couldn't have been more obvious. Like a riled eagle-lion, a snarl balanced precariously on the curve of her gaping lips, the fingers of her hands splayed across the expensive conference table. Her eyebrows were drawn together in anger, vacant eyes blissfully ignorant beneath.

She felt the slightest trembling of her element beneath her hands and toes, the displacement of Sokka's weight away from her. Four members of the Council flinched away from her as well, besides her other two male friends. They all knew too well the consequences of riling a Bei Fong up, and were disinclined to stand in her way. Only General Yeo remained motionless, his steely eyes narrowed, marking their annoyance on Toph's unrefined posture.

'What I mean,' he spoke slowly, teeth bared in their effort to remain patient and mask seething rage, 'Is that your services as Commander of the Dai Li will be _suspended_ until further notice.'

Her jaw dropped; she blinked. Her brain whirred, processing the ultimatum the head of the Council had given her, thinking back to what she might have done to receive such outrageous punishment as she bit back the expletives longing to spew forth. Struggling to maintain discipline, she blurted out, 'What? Why?'

'Because of _this_,' General Yeo leant his vast frame across the table, his arm outstretched as he dangled something in front of Toph's face. Sokka noted the gradual coloring of his tan complexion into a deep purple, whether from the anger boiling inside of him or the weight of his entire body upon his diaphragm, he didn't know. 'Do you have any idea what _this_ is?'

Sokka peeked sideways at Toph. Her confused expression had quickly fallen away to one of exasperation. Toph closed her eyes, silently willing herself not to snap back out of irritation. She straightened out of her offensive bearing, deadpanning, 'Well, since I'm _blind_, I'd have to say that, judging by that crinkling sound, it's a piece of paper.'

He couldn't help himself; Sokka let himself chortle noisily at the obvious distaste in his best friend's voice, almost congratulating her on that well-played humor when he caught Aang's eye. Who knew the usually mellow Avatar could look so dangerous, especially beside that puce-colored block of a General? Glancing around, Sokka winced at the widened gaze of the Fire Lord, his face frozen in warning; even Toph had shown a flicker of annoyance at his slip, frowning as she gazed blankly at the grubby parchment General Yeo was brandishing.

Accordingly, Sokka swallowed his laugh, turning it into a phony cough that became even more awkward as he choked on his own saliva.

General Yeo remained unfazed, sneering through Sokka's hacking. 'Your powers of perception never fail to amaze me. In fact, you'd be interested to note that what I'm currently holding is the bill that you and your _compatriot_ here have racked up while spending the evening at the infamous pub, The Clucking Chicken.'

General Yeo turned to glare at Sokka, who immediately ceased his coughing fit and had the decency to look abashed and more than a little uncomfortable as he fidgeted with his Water Tribe uniform. Conversely, Toph was a born fighter, and was just opening her mouth to deliver an angry retort about where else the General could stick his nose when she felt Zuko shift.

The change in his position was so minute that she might have even imagined it, yet she noticed that it was accompanied by an increase in his already high temperature, with the feeblest tension as he curled his toes in his shoes. She was intelligent enough to interpret the caution within the unseen gesture, slowly lowering herself back into her seat and attempting to keep her glowering in check as General Yeo's head snapped around to face her.

'Now, shall I read the list of what you owe?'

As the General flicked his gaze to and fro their stricken expressions and the lengthy catalog of destruction they had caused, as well as drinks consumed, she felt the beginnings of frostbite creeping across her skin, the intensity of ice flakes growing as the list progressed. Only his deep baritone rang through the tense atmosphere as everyone else sat in an uncomfortable silence, echoing around the sudden hollowness of her head, leaving her with the painful awareness of how irresponsibility and destruction was still rampant within her.

Had they really caused so much trouble and harm? Toph tried to dredge up the drunken memories, but they were flimsy, ghostly things, slipping through her cupped fingers like water. What she _could _grasp was the exhilaration; laughter ringing through her ears, the smell of earth and sweat mingling, tipping back bottle after bottle as the acridity of alcohol burned in the back of her throat. Her heart sank, heavy as a stone in the violent sea that stormed within her, the waves crashing in turmoil against the compact flexibility of her body as she surreptitiously measured the solemn heartbeats of her friends.

After all Aang and Zuko had done for her- helped her back on her feet, been the best of companions anyone could ask for, acted like the brothers she had never had, with their wise words and playful jibes. Sokka had merely hinted at the prospect of reliving their teenage drinking; judging by the contents of that inventory, with walls crumbled and furniture broken, it definitely wasn't him who had been the root of all that devastation.

And Iroh- the weight of her metal military helmet seemed to increase upon her head, buckling under the status it bore as her body was wracked with guilt. He had secured this coveted position for her, persuading King Kuei and several other prominent members of the court, convincing them that she was worthy of the job. Now, with her hands accountable and bloodied with ruin, Toph felt like she had failed him, his belief in her, internally withering away from disappointment with herself.

Never had she felt so embarrassed- here, in front of her friends, General Yeo was making a mockery of her, painting her as a reckless woman whose downfall was the demon drink. Worse still, Toph acknowledged that the incident was her fault- no way could Sokka, with his boomerang as his only weapon, cleave a bar into two, and continue ripping it apart till the total damage stood at more than a thousand gold pieces. Sure, he might have had engaged her in a drinking contest, and yes, she had pushed herself beyond her usual tolerance, just to show off and best him, and maybe it was Sokka who, in his inebriated state, had taunted those burly men a smidgen too much…

Despite the hazy memories of fighting off a dozen men to prevent them from crushing her best friend, using the earthen foundation of The Clucking Chicken as ammunition, Toph grimly decided that perhaps Sokka _did_ have something to do with all that had happened.

General Yeo finished his recital, rolling up the parchment with a flourish, a nasty expression crossed his face as he stared directly at Toph. 'So you see, Miss Bei Fong,' he practically purred, 'Why we have no choice but to terminate your contract as the head of the Dai Li for the time being.'

She half-rose out of her seat in protest as the Council made to do so in theirs. 'But- how long will this take?' She couldn't help but let a frantic note enter her voice.

'You will receive news of whether you have been taken off suspension in time to come,' General Yeo answered, making as if to exit via the large doors at the end of the room. 'We hope that this punishment will allow you ample time for self-reflection, and to understand the importance of maintaining discipline and image while serving the Earth King.'

Aang stood up. 'Wait.'

His voice was commanding and powerful, enough to stop the Council in their tracks; in contrast, his next words were full of naivety and optimism. The Avatar took a deep breath, then made his case. 'Toph is completely trustworthy; she's the most skilled earthbender the world has ever seen, and having her instruct the Dai Li will greatly benefit Ba Sing Se, and even the entire Earth Kingdom, as her methods spread. She's brave, driven and the best teacher anyone could have. She's also one of my greatest friends, and I'm willing to vouch for her character. I'm sure she regrets what damage she and Sokka have caused, and is willing to apologize to the bar owner. Surely you could afford her _some _leniency, General?'

Toph's heart swelled with gratefulness at Aang's plea; regardless of her actions, he was still attempting to help her retain what she didn't deserve. Sokka reached over to clasp her hand, squeezing it to physically articulate his comfort, bolstering her courage. Even Zuko cracked a small smile in her direction, conveying unseen encouragement.

She felt the General stop abruptly in his movement to exit the room as Aang spoke; his footsteps were malicious as he strode back to the table, his weight shifting as he leaned on the table to look down on her.

'Avatar Aang.' Though he was addressing the airbender, General Yeo's gaze was locked onto the pale face of his subordinate. 'I have no doubt in my mind that your judgment is impartial, and to be trusted.'

Hearing this, Sokka turned to his left, signaling a small thumbs-up to Zuko, who was seated on Toph's other side. He saw the Fire Lord's tight face giving way to reprieve for a moment, the tension in his shoulders relaxing the tiniest bit as he leaned back into his chair, surveying the scene. He turned to Toph, hoping the swiveling motion of his behind on his seat to would signal he was facing her, conveying his relief by flashing a large grin.

Taking in her expression, however, Sokka's smile lost some of its luster, stationary in its upward journey towards his ocean eyes. Her eyebrows were scrunched in a glare, twin streaks of jagged black disappearing into the bangs concealing her forehead, her mouth twisted in an angry dash as she tilted her chin upwards defiantly. When Sokka looked back at General Yeo, he understood why.

'However, after much discussion, both the Earth King and the Council of Five have unanimously agreed that suspending Commander Bei Fong is her most befitting punishment. She has disappointed the court many times, causing embarrassment when other nations were present.'

Each word was lethal to her ego, without mercy; Toph wanted to attack the imposing figure towering over her. She fought her impulse, simply holding her tongue, biting on it as she dug her fingernails into her fists to prevent herself from snapping.

'Unfortunately,' the General admitted grudgingly, 'Due to her astonishing skills in earthbending, we are inclined to keep her in our employment. Nevertheless, we feel she is a menace to society, and needs to be taught a lesson.'

'What?' It was too much; she sprang from her seat, furious and yelling. 'It's thanks to _me_ that the crime rate in this city has fallen, and you're calling me a _menace_?'

'Toph, _no_,' Zuko hissed as the General's face shone in smug triumph.

Toph gritted her teeth, realizing how her outburst had confirmed General Yeo's argument, yet her rage was no less quelled. How she longed to teach the _Council_ a lesson instead- she doubted whether they, frail and complacent in their old age and comfort, could take her on. Through the blood boiling in her ears, she felt Sokka reach over again, tugging at her hand for her to calm down. Quirking a questioning eyebrow at him, she was shocked when her best friend stood up as well, taking advantage of her surprise to place a hand on her shoulder, then pushing her unceremoniously back down onto her seat.

'Please,' Sokka said, appealing to the General. 'It was my idea to sneak out, and my fault that we got into a scuffle at that bar. If there's anyone who needs to be punished, it's me. You're making a mistake suspending Toph; Ba Sing Se needs her for its protection and vigilance against crime.'

Toph felt an older Council member shuffle towards General Yeo, the rasp in his voice making the words directed to the latter inaudible. When she felt the approving nod of the General, however, along with the quickening pace of his heart, she shifted into an unconscious mental alertness, physically tensing in anticipation.

As the Council member returned to his original position, the General fixed the Water Tribe Ambassador with a piercing stare. 'An interesting proposition, Master Sokka,' he mused, stroking his beard in pretended thoughtfulness. 'What say you to this: we will restore Commander Bei Fong's services, provided the Southern Water Tribe give up their appeal to further expand their trading routes to Earth Kingdom and Fire Nation waters.'

A growl began in the back of her throat as she bared her teeth; of all the things the Council could demand, this was _low_. She recalled a heated debate concerning this very subject taking place during the economic talk Sokka had missed. Though the Fire Nation would have suffered a loss, Zuko was more than willing to allow increasingly diverse trading to occur; Hakoda, however, had met resistance from the Council, who were unwilling to relinquish their monopoly on their territories.

Before she could do anything, Aang had stepped in. 'No way!' he argued, making a sweeping motion with his tattooed arm. 'The Harmony Restoration Movement cannot be completed if the four nations are unwilling to maintain peaceful, fair ties. What you're doing here is blackmail!'

Toph noticed the Fire Lord had also risen, shaking his head angrily as his eyes burned into the Council. 'General Yeo,' he said quietly, his voice full of disgust, 'What you have suggested is dishonorable to your country, to your people. The Southern Water Tribe doesn't have much to offer, but what little they have are valuable commodities. Iron, for instance. Once the Dai Li grasp Toph's metalbending technique, I'm sure the iron ore can be extracted easily for distribution amongst the nations for use in construction, or technological advancements.'

The General huffed. 'And when will _that_ be, Fire Lord Zuko? The Dai Li are nowhere near to metalbending than they were a year ago, despite the Commander's rigorous drills. Earth is good enough for us. Unless Master Sokka agrees to our proposal, we will be keeping Commander Bei Fong on prohibition.'

'I…' Sokka hesitated, wetting his lips. She could feel the defeat weighing in on his shoulders, the kick in his heart as his famous brain hummed, attempting to generate a plan that could save them both. Aang and Zuko were shaking their heads as they tried to dissuade Sokka from agreeing; she heard the low murmur of congratulations between the Council members. The room was full of stubborn, high-ranking men, whose heartbeats thumped in an orchestra of different beats and pitches, reverberating through her helmet to echo incessantly in her head.

Suddenly, Toph realized why Sokka was even toying with the possibility of sacrificing the interests of his tribe for her- it was that stupid promise, and after failing to keep it previously, he was determined to do so now. She was moved, touched that Sokka would try to rebuild their relationship in this manner. He would have gladly taken the blame and penalty, just to let her walk away unscathed.

Up till now, she had been seated, mutely observing the political mechanics happening. She stood up unexpectedly, the jerky motion surprising even herself, toppling her chair backwards and causing it to land with a crash. As eight heads spun around to look at her, she felt her heart leap into her throat, throbbing wildly in the ensuing silence as panic seized her. What was she_ doing_? What would Iroh say?

Inexplicably, Toph knew exactly what advice he would give her. Something enigmatic like, 'sometimes life is like a maze, but to find true happiness, you must walk along all paths available to you'. She groaned internally; maybe she wasn't very good at making up idioms, but she knew the gist of what he'd say: as long as she was happy, Iroh would be behind her all the way.

And right now? She wasn't happy. She'd never been happy in Ba Sing Se, ever since she had set foot in it as a child of eight. It had been nice living with Iroh, waiting on tables at The Jasmine Dragon, but it never gave her the fulfillment she wanted. The job at the palace afforded her luxury, she had made a friend in Jin (her gut twisted at the thought of him), but the walls were suffocating as always, rigid in their rules and lifestyle. Each morning she would wake up, drag herself through the same routine, and fall asleep at night, exhausted, with a pounding in her head brought on by the relentless workings of the masses.

In contrast, this week had been a breath of fresh air with Sokka, sparring sessions and illegal jaunts to town, in search of improvement and meat with their friendship on the mend, stitch by stitch. She had loved every minute of it, the dreariness of her duty unfathomable in the wake of their laughs harmonizing, floating towards the eaves.

He was happiness to Toph, not embodying it fully, but giving her enough so that any other input paled in comparison. She tucked away the rations he handed out to her, secrets in her pockets, smiles radiating faintly from her face. He meant more to her than anyone else- and though he was a complete imbecile, Toph decided that if anyone had to be saved, no way would _she_ be on the receiving end again.

'Know what, General? You can stop your pathetic bargaining. Because-'

Toph had stopped trembling; her steady hands deftly unfastened the strap of her military helmet. Her bun became undone, tumbling down to reveal a green headband fighting a losing battle with tangled ebony. With a flick of her wrist, she tossed the helmet onto the table, leaving a dent and a resounding _clang_ that resonated around the room as she turned on her heel.

'I _quit_.'

Before they had time to register her words, Toph was gone, slamming the door behind her as she left; she walked calmly, but quickly, her heart dancing a tango in solitary confinement, slamming against her ribcage. She had done it; her lungs savored the first few breaths of freedom, bittersweet inhaled through her nose. Toph was free from the regulations that had chained her down, triumphant in saving Sokka's butt, but where was she to go now? The aftermath of her announcement gripped her uneasily, anxiety taking over; admittedly, she hadn't thought this out as thoroughly as she would've liked.

Though her head was clouded with exhilaration and apprehension, her feet were decisive in their route, taking her to the place where she could clear her head and decide what course to pursue next. The ground beneath transformed from marble to pavement, then to blades of grass tickling her calluses as she tramped along, lost in her thoughts. When she came to, Toph smirked a little, then conceded to lying down on her back. She sprawled herself over the dry earth beneath the boughs, her hair flung out to catch petals and stray beams of light. She inhaled the scent of frangipanis whirling around, her eyes wide open and listless as she gazed into the eternal heat of the sun.

It took some hours to find her; Toph had passed the time contemplating the warmth on her face, unable to stop herself from living in the moment. The activity had lulled her to sleep, hazy memories flitting through her dreams, the approaching footsteps jerking her out of her doze. As she patted the ground groggily, she noted the receding heat, the presence of twilight all around her as horse crickets stirred restlessly from their slumber in the grass. Toph stretched, her joints cracking; running her fingers through the thicket of her hair, she sat up, greeting her identified quarry.

'Took you long enough,' she yawned.

Sokka lowered himself down next to her, taking care not to dirty his clothes. He tilted his head skywards to survey the dusky horizon, the evening sun coloring them lavender and rose. Ba Sing Se had a magnificent skyline, he reflected, the different hues complementary and melding into each other, creating a beautiful palette that masked the ugliness of the city itself.

He pulled himself out of his reverie, turning to Toph, whose face was pointed in the same direction and demanded, 'Toph. What. The hell.'

The peaceful look on her face fell away, a scowl taking its place. 'Nice, Meathead,' she growled, pulling at clumps of grass. 'I save your ass, and all you can say is _that_?'

'My- you- you did _not_ save my ass,' he spluttered, flushing with embarrassment. 'I had the whole situation under control!'

Toph shook her head, leveling him with a pitying glance. 'Snoozles, you were seriously considering what that ignoramus proposed. Believe me, you were _one second_ away from succumbing. Your heart was beating like a stampede of rhino elephants, and I could almost feel the sweat dripping off your face.' She stabbed him in the chest with a dirt-encrusted finger, satisfied at the wince it elicited.

'Well,' he gasped. 'Thank you. For, uh, saving my ass.' He paused, massaging his chest. 'I'm sorry. For making you lose your job. If I had kept my mouth shut, maybe Aang could have coaxed them into lifting your probation earlier-'

Toph shrugged, flopping down. 'I wasn't happy,' she stated simply, closing her eyes. 'Sure, I got to kick ass on the job, but- it wasn't _right_. It wasn't for me- they were so image-conscious and rigid. Plus, General Yeo? Yeah, the last person I'd ever want to work with, after what he pulled with you.'

Sokka observed his friend, his gaze concerned. 'Maybe it _is_ for the best, Toph, but what're you going to do now?'

Her eyes snapped open as she pushed herself upright again, facing Sokka. Toph tilted her head, her fingers splaying across the ground to pull up small mounds of earth absentmindedly. Sokka watched her bite her lip, the rush of blood adding color.

'I don't know yet.' She shot Sokka a jaunty smile, laughing as she dragged her fingers through the split ends of her hair. 'Visit my parents?' She made a face, wrinkling her nose in what he presumed was disgust. 'I guess I have to break the news that I lost my prestigious appointment _some _time.'

Toph shrugged again, nonchalant, bending a pillar of earth behind her so that she could lean on it. For a few minutes, she basked in the dying rays, letting her head loll until her best friend broke the silence.

'I've been thinking-'

'Always a first, Snoozles.'

'I've been _thinking_,' he continued doggedly, 'That you should come to Republic City. With us.'

Toph sat up, interested, dissolving her temporary backrest. 'Republic City?'

Sokka nodded. 'It's just the old Fire Nation colonies repackaged into a place for people who need a fresh start. We could use your assistance- remember your metalbending students?'

'Those lily livers would still be making mud pies in their backyard if it weren't for me,' she scoffed, huffing at the thought of her first class of pupils.

'Exactly. You could re-open your school in the City. The Mechanist and I have designed lots of stuff that could be assembled so much faster with your skills.'

She hesitated. 'It won't be like Ba Sing Se, will it?'

He shook his head decisively. 'Nothing like it. Aang and Zuko want to make it a haven for everyone, regardless of nation or bending. The government will be fair- not corrupt like those guys. And if you get bored,' he glanced at her sideways slyly, 'You could come with me when I visit the other nations for ambassador duties.'

Seeing her raised eyebrows, he added suggestively, 'I hear Fire Nation drinks are _reeeeeally _something.'

What was there to lose but the doubtful imprint of her reckless, apathetic self? Toph lay down, resting her head on her arms crossed behind her. A fresh start, leaving for a foreign place; this time, she could make a difference in the world. Imparting her own devised skill to more students (and maybe even having fun doing so), building Republic City with her friends, and Sokka- clutching his arm as they rode on Appa, soaring high above to faraway lands, the warmth of his skin incomparable to that of the sun's…

'You know,' she hid her smile from him, her voice soft in the rays cast by the setting sun. 'I think that's a pretty good idea.'

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><p><strong>AN**: Hello everybody! For all of you who actually made it to this author's note without cheating and skipping some of the chapter, congratulations! This chapter is heavy on dialogue and description, which made it really lengthy in my opinion. Despite my style being descriptive-inclined and wordy, I feel that to cut back on details, the quality of the story would be disrupted. I mean, sure, you can say, 'she stood up angrily' instead of what I wrote in my 2nd paragraph, but where's the beauty in that? Language is my strong point, and I feel this story can be suitable for it.

Thank you to those who have stuck with the story: **TiaBolt**, **Invaderk**,** Itachi'spein**, **Blanc Expression**, **limegreenwordmachine**,** tomboy_26**,** Ignorant Sparrow**,** The Joker's Eyes and Ears**, **13designershoes, ****Sokka's Fan-Lawyer **and **fukaimoriMidori**, my beta-reader! And hello and much thanks to new readers **virginger**, **guyw1tn0nam3**, **Spry**,** NumberEighteen**,** Inali Grimalkin**, **Written Parody** and especially** D3stiny-Smasher** :)

So a lot of people thought that NII was over- but no! The adventure continues! I've had a specific storyline in mind, where we see Toph heading to Republic City, and as tempted as I was to end it on the last chapter (after re-reading it, I realised that it would be a nice ending), I think there's still more to be explored.

For this chapter, I focused on what Toph wants to do with her life, and the sense of mundanity she experiences in her job and its resulting lack of meaning. Here, I wanted to open up all the possibilities of finding her happiness by starting over, juxtaposing it with how Sokka is the one who makes her feel most content. (Listen to the song above, and I hope you get what I mean.) I also tried to link this story with the canon series (The Promise & LoK) so that it's believable and accountable. Moreover, I looked into the basis of the Earth Kingdom government, the Manchu period in China, and decided to throw in some politics and a hint of corruption into the mix. I wanted to show how they've all grown up so much in these years, aged and shaped by their efforts into building a better world.

As always, R&R! Comments, ideas and critiques are all welcome. Until next time. x


	12. Run

_Feather - Little Dragon_

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><p>Toph awoke to the curtains in her room billowing in the breaths of rainy weather.<p>

Shivering, she pulled her sheets around her tightly to provide respite from the unfamiliar cold. Toph smacked her dry lips together, sneaking an arm out to rub dry dust across her eyes. Sitting up and planting her feet into her usual spot, her toes met with the cold resistance of the earth. Her toes wriggled in surprise, skittering over the icy floor in trepidation, her body temperature adjusting to the chill as she heaved herself from slumber.

Padding softly over to the windows, Toph fought for a moment with the tangled cloth to wedge her swaddled form against the sills, her face turned upwards to receive the downcast skies. The wind guided raindrops to cling to the untamed hair over her eyes, twinkling diamonds on a grizzled terrain as droplets tiptoed lightly over her blankets, leaving pale footprints where they pattered. Toph exhaled an unconscious breath held at the change in environment; a cloud of vapor rose through the crisp air, pure white gradually diluting into the sky. Winter had come to the Earth Kingdom late this year, a whirlwind of tempered monsoons and melted snow.

Focusing on the stillness beneath her soles, she found that she was quite alone. The palace was quiet, lulled by the drop in temperature and the earliness of the hour. Maneuvering the bundles containing all her worldly possessions, she drifted across her bedchamber, running her fingers over the furniture, drinking in the different textures they presented. Her dresser was bare, the uniforms she wore daily stiffly solitary inside the wardrobe, the neatly lined papers across her desk now strewn askew with the wind. In between, her palms drifted over the intricate carvings of the brick walls, memorizing the results of a skilled earthebender's work. Each touch lingered, a fond memory held, renewed and then released, escaping from dovecotes on tired wings.

Strange, that the monsoon season began on the day of her departure from this wretched city. Toph recalled the summer of yesterday, the ground dry and hot in contrast to what met her today. The cobblestones on the streets home prickled with heat and ire as she and Sokka returned to the palace, as if the city itself was wrathful.

The plan had been welcomed by Aang, Katara and Zuko, and together, the five of them- six, if an inconsolable Meishi was included- had squeezed into her bedroom, a flurry of packing ensuing. They were to leave at dawn the next day on Appa, embarking on a two day flight to Republic City, where she'd be shown around and set to work. That left Toph little time for anything but packing her belongings, setting her affairs in order and consuming a hasty dinner prepared by a particularly weepy maidservant.

'Meishi,' she pleaded, awkward at the close proximity as Meishi bawled on her shoulder. She had no idea the latter was so attached to her; accordingly, she attempted rubbing her shoulder in concern. 'I'll write to you, I promise, just- Calm down, okay?'

In response, Meishi's sobs escalated. Toph stirred uneasily, aware of the steady dampening of her tunic. The boys were moving around the room, more than happy to leave them alone, packing enthusiastically but haphazardly. A chiding Katara flitted between them, tutting and sighing at the despairing state of Toph's clothes as she re-folded them. Once or twice, Toph felt Katara snatch an article from Sokka's hands, both their heartbeats increasing in embarrassment as the former retreated to the furthest bag. No doubt he had handled some of her _undergarments_- in turn, Toph felt the blush coloring her cheeks in mortification.

The knock on the door came just as Meishi pulled herself together; busy bestowing her maidservant an encouraging smile, Toph missed the presence of the person outside. Only did her head snap up in recognition as the rusted hinges creaked, revealing someone impatient enough to peek into her room.

Meishi gaped at the stranger, scandalized that a young man dared to enter her lady's chamber without her admission. The others whirled around from their frenzied folding, Katara surprised, Zuko confused, Aang dazed (he had just caught a whiff of Toph's undone laundry) and Sokka suspicious as their eyeballs swiveled to catch sight of the individual. The seven of them froze in tableaux, and Toph became aware of the tensing of muscles, the sudden acceleration in all hearts present, one in particular overriding the others with its ventricles and atria flexing and contracting to send tsunamis pounding through the earth, thunder stirring something in her own heart.

'Jin!' she squeaked. In the rush to prepare for her departure from Ba Sing Se, she had completely forgotten about him.

When everyone's head snapped towards her, she realized how ridiculous she had sounded. Clearing her throat in what she hoped was a surreptitious manner, she continued in her normal pitch, 'Uhm- _Agent_ Jin, everyone. Of the Dai Li.'

She gestured, her hands abruptly clumsy and feeble. Catching this, Sokka applied a critical eye to the newcomer. Agent Jin was Aang's height, jet black peeking out from below one of those absurd Dai Li hats. Green eyes, a small, unassuming nose, dry lips all smacked onto a clean-shaven face… Sokka passed over these dismissively, stroking his own facial hair smugly. He was lanky, a mass of uncoordinated tanned limbs belying his youth, his feet bare like Toph's; somehow, when Toph spoke of him in her letters, Sokka had imagined someone more… _like_ her.

Feeling Sokka raise his eyebrows in disbelief, Toph snapped, somewhat annoyed, 'He's the one who helps to read and write all my letters. _You_ _know_.'

Utterances of comprehension dawning from her friends, Katara stepped forward to give Jin a gentle hug that was met, to Toph's amusement, with a flush from the agent. Listening to the ongoing formalities as they greeted each other, she smirked at the obvious fumbling of her protégé, who seemed to be bowled over at the number of famous people in her room.

As Aang pumped Jin's hand enthusiastically, Katara asked, 'So what brings you here so late, Agent Jin?'

'I was, uh, actually hoping to speak with Commander Bei Fong,' he mumbled, ducking his head in deference to the Avatar's wife.

Toph twitched, spines needling their way over her body as the warmth of the room rapidly increased, despite the cool night air wafting in from her open windows. She could feel the splotches of color blossoming once again in her cheeks at his sheepish yet hopeful tone, alarmingly aware that Katara was watching them both closely, and obviously liked what she saw.

'_Oh_!' Katara immediately wrenched Aang's hand from the handshake, dragging him towards the door, the delight in her voice intensifying the blush across Toph's face. 'Of course, we were_ just_ going out to dinner, weren't we?'

After a beat, Zuko blurted out, 'Yes! Yes, we were!'

Guessing that his awkwardness was in response to a meaningful glance from Katara, Toph dropped her head into her hands.

'Meishi will show us the way, won't you?' Katara addressed the maid brightly, who promptly turned pink and bowed in compliance. 'And since Toph's already eaten, I'm sure you two will be able to have a _nice chat_ in here.'

Toph's head shot up, shooting the waterbender a glare, her jaw locked. Did she have to make what she was insinuating _so_ obvious? She could have smacked Katara, or better yet, buried herself deep underground to hide the spike in her body heat that was evident in her face. Restraining herself, Toph swallowed uneasily, attempting a reassuring smile towards Jin which became a grimace when Sokka declared, 'I've already eaten.'

'Sokka, you only had one piece of Toph's lizard chicken,' Aang pointed out, perplexed.

Folding his arms stubbornly, Sokka shrugged. 'I'm not hungry.'

Toph narrowed her eyes. She could plainly hear the faint objections of his stomach to his statement, his body language hostile as Jin shuffled uncomfortably under the weight of his gaze. A flash of irritation swept over her as she assessed the situation- who was he to intrude on what was obviously intended to be a private conversation? And behave so inconsiderately to the one person she considered a friend in this cramped city?

Abruptly, she stood up and stomped over to Jin. 'Then you can continue packing,' she replied acidly, her finger jabbing blindly in Sokka's direction. Pushing Aang aside and yanking the heavy door open, she finished with, 'While Agent Jin and I speak outside_. Privately_.'

Toph swept from the room, highly aggravated at the blatancy of her friends' behavior. Jin hurried behind her, keeping up with the purposeful pace she set as they left for their usual location. Her forehead creased in a frown as she contemplated Katara's eagerness and Sokka's antagonism; they had both failed to realize that it was _her_ decision to make- not theirs. She had no choice but to haul Jin from the tiger sharks and see what he wanted to discuss; Toph bit her lip, hoping the nasty apprehension residing in her chest would turn out to be inaccurate.

They were fortunate to bypass any guards or Dai Li on patrol. Toph knew it was inappropriate of her to be wandering the corridors, now that she was no longer in the palace's employment. Yet she wanted absolute privacy for the impending conversation with the young man; as a result, their muffled feet led them to the North Wing, where the interior of a metal lock submitted to her will. They squeezed their souls into the gap produced, remembering to lock themselves inside as they adjourned to an aisle dedicated to bending scrolls.

She pressed her back to the pigeonholes, feeling the strength of the wood as she slid down its length to rest at the foot of the bookshelf, the hem of her pants brushing the flagstones. He remained standing, leaning back into the facing structure, his feet planted firmly into the ground as a beam of moonlight separated them.

'Sorry about that,' she huffed, still vexed with the embarrassment her friends had caused, covering it up by nonchalantly picking at a corn on her index finger. Biting her lip when Jin's only rejoinder was to continue gazing stonily at her, she went on, defensive, 'They're not usually so bad. It's just been… a long day, I guess.'

Toph tapped her foot impatiently, shifting in the quiet, her bangs parted in the centre to give Jin ample time to consider the shadows slanted across her face. At last, he spoke.

'You're leaving.' It wasn't a question.

She flicked away the piece of skin she had successfully disengaged, not attempting to fake any excuses as she bluntly acknowledged the fact. 'I am.'

Her voice was emotionless, neutral; she was a rock, her planes immobile and sharp, the particles steady in their kinetic energy as she strained, listening hard for any change in either of them.

'So the rumors were true.' Jin's voice was barely audible, as if he had been speaking to himself, not the to the woman with finely tuned ears sitting a few paces away. He was unsure, but not surprised, the tone of his voice reminding her of fragile, skittering petals atop the crest of a hill, their movement encumbered by taller blades of grass.

'They were,' she affirmed. Twisting her hands together, she decided to offer an explanation. 'I quit my job. I can't stay here, Jin. This city- it suffocates me. It's exactly what I was running from back home.' Toph's insides squirmed at the thought; though her she had reconciled with her parents, she had never returned to live with them. 'I want to roam; I want to do something with my life... So I'm going to build Republic City.'

The longing and tentativeness in her voice lingered in the silence- it seemed all the serious conversations she had experienced contained at least one of them. Both parties would feel their way through the darkness of their minds, fingers grappling blindly for stray thoughts to be vocalized.

Her mind wandered back to when she had earthbended him into a nearby aisle three months ago- the changes in their relationship had been set in motion way before that, recent weeks blurring into each other to form a long stretch of time spent together. She had noticed how his brush moved before the words fell from her lips, how he always beat her to the teapot at The Jasmine Dragon, the improvement of his reflexes when they sparred as part of Dai Li training. They moved together like lodestones, their actions complementary but repelling, maintaining a respectable distance via an invisible force.

She opened her mouth slightly, her throat empty of words, eyes glassy. She didn't know what to say, had never known the correct way to respond to Jin. Where her brashness sufficed with her other friends, it seemed to contrast starkly against the sea of calm that he floated upon, unexpected answers catching her predatory words off-guard. While she pushed other people, he made her lose her own balance, that instance of falling, almost flying, thrilling and breathtaking, all so alien to her. Jin made Toph stumble and hesitate where she usually charged forward; she teetered upon the precipice of a cliff, when her habit was to plunge headlong into the darkness waiting below.

Noticing her expression, Jin's wet his lips, embarrassed, the smallest of muscle exertions. She felt it the way one notices a wavering candle flame at an altar, the twinge of their heart rousing reminiscence of days past and ancestry. It made her heart hammer terribly, her tongue pressed against the roof of her mouth.

'Commander-'

Her tongue became unstuck. 'Toph,' she whispered back.

'I'm sorry?'

She paused, glad it was night and the scones of the library extinguished. 'I am no longer your Commander,' she proceeded slowly, her voice husky but clear. 'So it's Toph. Not Lady Bei Fong, or anything fancy like that.'

A small guffaw accompanied her self-mocking tone. Toph pressed the back of her head to the shelves, arching her neck as she directed her face in Jin's direction, speaking empathetically to convey where words were lacking. The breath left her. 'Just Toph.'

Jin sunk down to his knees, his head level with hers as his heels hit the bookcase behind him. 'Toph,' his mouth wrapped around the unfamiliar word hesitantly, foreign vowels escaping his lungs in a controlled tenor. 'You don't owe me an explaination.'

She felt a glob of saliva travel down the length of his throat. 'But I understand.'

He was trying, and Toph was grateful for it. He was selfless, giving, and she was selfish, taking all and leaving none. Jin understood her, sometimes even better than herself; Toph came, conquered and abandoned, her roots grounded into dust as she donned the nomadic lifestyle. He just happened to be the opportune rock she had latched onto for a moment, providing the shelter she needed before the wind beckoned her to thrive in the sun once again.

When she thought back to that moment in years to come, all the vital signs- the drumming of his sincere heart, the intake of her breath at that exact moment- escaped her. Instead, she thought of the transient warmth of his soft look pooling around her, which was all the relief she really needed.

Toph heard three knocks rapped upon her door, the swift entering of her maidservant startling her from reminiscence. She blinked, half-turning; she had strayed to the window once again, the cold icicles on her toes. Meishi was somber as she shut the windows in haste, bundling her mistress to the dresser, where a plate of fruit had been set down, to complete her morning toilette.

'It's late, mistress; the others are nearly ready.'

'Meishi,' Toph protested as Meishi began pulling her pajama top off, 'You don't have to do this anymore. It's not like I can't do it myself.'

Meishi glanced at Toph's half-hidden form ruefully, her voice evoking the sadness of winters past. 'But I want to, my lady.'

Toph stopped struggling with her clothes. Meishi's parting wish was so simple, earnest in her elocution. She felt a pang in her gut, sorrow and guilt churning in an acidic concoction. Toph regretfully thought of the exasperations she had caused her- dirty laundry, delivered lies and temper tantrums, to say the least. With grace, she accepted. 'Thank you, then.'

Throughout the rest of the session, she remained unusually still, cooperative when a thickly woven tunic itched her shoulders and as Meishi took pains to ensure her customary bun was both secure and stylish. Her stomach full and her heart heavy, Toph gathered her bundles, bidding Meishi goodbye with a swift hug as she vacated her room forever.

They were waiting for her in the courtyard beyond the palace gates. She walked out into the drizzle, her thick wear protecting her from the bitter wind, her toes nearly slipping in the moist gathering in between the laid stones. In a second, Toph sought out the mass of people gathered there; her friends were securing packages to Appa, who was gnawing on some hay. Katara and Aang glided through waterbending stances, keeping their group dry beneath a conjured veil. She grunted with displeasure as she noted the Council and King Kuei standing a little to the side, their guards forming a protective ring around them. The ground there was dry, shielded by parasols toted against the rain.

Passing the guard, she managed a curt nod in their general direction. Aang and Sokka hurried over, relieving Toph of her belongings as she felt King Kuei step forward, a puppet straining against its bonds, peering past the cage of guards.

'Toph, I'm so sorry-'

'I'm sorry, too, Your Majesty,' she cut him off, aware of the spasm of annoyance in the muscles of General Yeo's face. Her features softened, regretting the sharp tone she had taken with the King. 'But that's just the way it is.'

Toph bowed, more out of formality than any respect for the government officials before her. She didn't bother checking if they returned it, coolly turning on her heel in a puddle and striding away from them. Sweeping her wet bangs across her face, she moved on to the dryness where Sokka stood, tightening a knot at Appa's flank.

'Ready to go?' he asked, looking down at her.

Casting one last sweep across the courtyard with her feet, Toph nodded mutely. There was no one left to say goodbye to, no more purpose left for her here. Despite relishing the idea of escaping to new lands earlier, she felt hollow now, setting fire to a bridge that could never be built again. Ba Sing Se would always linger in her memories, the locale of several turning points in her life; it was a strange relationship they had, she mused, but not necessarily one she regretted leaving behind.

Fumbling for a grip on Appa's fur to hoist herself up, Toph's ears pricked at the sound of pounding feet. The weight of two dozen men racing across the courtyard assaulted her, a cacophony of wheezing lungs and deprived hearts. She lowered herself back down, some semblance of excitement growing within her as she heard the exclamations of the surrounding people.

Planting her arms on her waist, a Cheshire grin grew across Toph's face as the approaching crowd slowed. The redolence of freshly picked frangipanis mingled with the smell of falling rain smattering against earth, a burst of relieved laughter echoing from her pupils.

'Thought we weren't gonna say goodbye, huh, Commander?' Hong yelled gleefully, thrusting a damp bouquet into Toph's arms as the Dai Li crowded around their disgraced leader, sharing an embrace or handshake with each agent.

She blushed, the drooping leaves clinging to her damp skin. 'Thanks, guys,' she grinned, touched, fingering the twine holding the stalks together.

'Don't thank us,' Hong cried heartily, slapping a bashful figure forward. 'Thank Jin! Crazy guy- he picked these in the pouring rain this morning.'

Toph turned to face him, her smirk fading. 'He did, huh?'

The snorts and sniggers of the flanking agents grew fainter as they drifted a little a ways, leaving her with Jin, conspicuously alone in a crowded courtyard. She felt like a girl who'd been stripped of her post and the darkness she wore around her like a cloak, her protective layers peeled back to expose the vulnerability beneath. Toph ran her fingers through her drenched bangs, her head tilted sideways as she contemplated Jin with her feet. Though her vision was slightly fuzzy, she had little difficulty discerning his erect posture, radiating discomfort as the water dripped from the rim of his helmet in regular beats.

Toph cleared her throat, swiping his side with a light punch. Airily, she thanked him, her downcast gaze betraying the sudden shyness assailing her. 'Thanks for the flowers.'

Jin shrugged, shuffling his feet, his hands clasped behind his back.

Anxious, she continued, 'Take care of yourself.'

Jin nodded, the barest of motions in his upright stance. Her eyebrows knitted together in vexation as the gap in their one-sided conversation dragged on; of all times to be quiet, and he had chosen _now_?

'Toph!' She jerked her head towards the sound of Sokka's voice. 'Come on, time's a-wasting!'

'_Sokka_!' Katara's hiss was muted, the smack of her hand on the back of Sokka's head much more audible in the downpour.

Toph winced at their interaction; talk about embarrassing. 'Well, if that's all,' she muttered, dipping her head and sidestepping the silent combatant.

His hand shot out to meet Toph's shoulder, halting her movement. She shivered at the contact, warmth dissipating through the woolen layer of her sweater, fragments of her soul sliding through what he gripped in his hands.

'You'll write?'

In his voice, she heard the bottled emotions a subordinate never revealed. She interpreted the quiet note of desperation evident, dodging falling rain from the throb of his Adam's apple. Pummeled by raindrops into the mud below was the quavering note of his affection, diffident but secure in the knowledge that it was strong and true. It made Toph's chest tighten, air expelled from her lungs spinning out of control into his own, joined together by threads of breath in an instance where hushed yearning rung as clear as bells.

Her head raised, Toph's bangs swung back into place to shield Jin from her unreadable eyes, only a thin smirk peeking out. 'Of course.'

She felt him turn to look over his shoulder. 'Master Sokka looks a trifle upset,' Jin chucked nervously, reaching up to scratch the back of his head. 'I guess you should go.'

Toph lifted her lips half-heartedly, a weak laugh escaping her lips. 'Yeah, I, uh…'

She trailed off, her lips parted as she examined Jin's current body language. He and Sokka were so similar in their mannerisms, yet she harbored the curious feeling that he was more like her than she cared to admit. His body was warm, born from the earth rather than ice, tendrils of heat snaking out to her with every punch, hit and brush they had ever experienced. Jin was rock, an anchor in treacherous waters- she could stay, hold on, be saved or dragged down to inhale water.

She was seized by a sudden desire to embrace him, to envelope his warmth in her arms- no, she had never done that before. She recoiled from the thought just as quickly; she couldn't, not in front of these people… For all their time spent together, contact was merely fists pummeling into armor, or the accidental brushing of patches of skin together. Jin was putting on a brave face, she knew, resignation and heartache written all over…

Unbeknownst to even herself, Toph's eyes blazed into Jin's as she found herself grasping his hand, two glorious seconds' worth of veins pumping in the flush of each other's skin, clamminess and rainwater as opaque targeted green.

'I'll miss you,' she heard herself say, and then she was running, the stones slippery beneath her clapping feet, Sokka and Zuko helping her up, Appa taking off right on cue into the weak rain, petrichor and frangipanis scenting the drumming of her heart.

'You okay?' Katara asked gently, handing Toph a clean cloth.

She laid the flowers down onto the soft material, closing her eyes, breaths shuddering her compact body in the thinning atmosphere. 'Yeah.'

'Republic City, here we come!' Sokka whooped, shooting his best friend a triumphant grin.

He grabbed her in a one-armed hug. The winter clothes he had donned chafed against her, providing heat in the frosty environment pervaded by the sun's fatigued rays. Later, as the temperature dipped, he would make fun of the color of her lips, and the frangipanis would freeze and die with the harshness of sleet, their petals dripping absentmindedly from her fingers, scattering across the kingdom in downward haste. Sokka and Katara would quarrel over food rations, and Zuko would snore. But she would smile, weightless with her strings cut, the air crisp when inhaled and buffeting her hair into black whips, buoying her higher into the clouds and sun as Aang wove a timeless hymn.

After all, she reasoned, happiness was hard to think about when you left it on the ground below.

* * *

><p><strong>AN**: Going to start off by thanking recent readers of this story: **FallenStarx3**, **guyw1tn0nam3**,**Invaderk**, **AvatarIsMyLife**, **Itachi'spein**,** Justice333**, **Blanc Expression**, **limegreenwordmachine**,** tomboy_26**,** CrazyDyslexicNerd**,** The Joker's Eyes and Ears**,**Sokka's Fan-Lawyer, **D3stiny-Smasher** **and **Spry**! I can't believe how many people have read this; thank you all so much :)

This was one of the hardest chapters for me to write- Jin, an OC, plays a huge role here, with Toph coming to terms with the dynamics between them, only to leave him behind. I had to think really hard about how to portray him such that his strong feelings for Toph are evident, as well as his patient, understanding nature.

It's also an examination into Toph's entrenched habit to abandon and move on, be it relationships, jobs or places. Like the chosen song (please give it a listen- I think it's spot-on with Toph's character and her future in this fic), I wanted to portray a lyrical, almost abstract relationship between Toph and Jin. (It's kind of the opposite of her and Sokka's, although there is a better chance of her reciprocating Jin's feelings than Sokka reciprocating her's.) Jin's feelings for Toph are very real and quietly open, while Toph is unsure of whether she should be even considering him as a romantic interest. I liken the dynamics between them to magnets: complementary and repelling at the same time, due to their positions in that society and their respective shyness.

A choice was subtly given here: she could stay and build her happiness with Jin, or leave to pursue new adventures. Toph eventually chose the latter because of her inability to stay in Ba Sing Se, to preserve her streak of independence and because she simply doesn't know how to deal with her feelings for Jin, especially with Sokka somewhat in the picture. The final 'scene' was tailored to parallel what I wrote in Chapter 3: Meteor, if you haven't guessed XD If you're wondering why Toph has so many things to pack, I was thinking that Katara would have given her a lot of formal clothing over the years, with Meishi adding to that collection, especially since the seasons have just changed.

I hope all of these were effectively conveyed, and that I did a good job. Please R&R, with criticisms, ideas and comments all very welcome.

Once again, thank you for following this fic, and have a happy new year! :D


	13. Even

_Even Though I'm A Woman - Seeker Lover Keeper_

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><p>Strangely enough, Sokka never helped her write her letters to Jin.<p>

_Dear Jin,_  
><em>I'm living with Katara and Aang (the Avatar to you, buster) in a house right next to the sea, in one of the spare rooms. Every morning they practice waterbending while I content myself with the sand on the beach. Thankfully, the area is isolated enough to prevent any gawkers from hanging around.<em>  
><em>It's barely my first week in Republic City and I'm already being put to work. Monsters. They obviously don't know how to treat a war hero. But Sokka's involved in the architecture process, so I suppose the tedium will be made bearable. He's shown me some really cool building plans that I'll be working on, which he drew out in the dirt, and what's been built already feels amazing.<em>

And it was. Walking into the city every morning, Toph would use her seismic sense to seek out the earthen buildings scattered around the plains, old residences of the former colonies lying comfortably between them. These new structures reigned over the blossoming area, possessing the opulence of the Fire Nation, the Earth Kingdom's sturdy foundations and the Water Tribes' intricate designs. To the west, Toph would hear the grunts of earthbenders as they cleared a piece of barren land, then lay fertile topsoil over. Sokka had said that, in time, it'd be a majestic public garden in which the locals could pass their leisure time in.

Now, she was training the earthbenders she had deemed sufficiently skilled to metalbend. It was a laborious task; their martial arts style was completely dissimilar to her own, too unrefined for them to detect and bend the impurities in the roughest of ores. Toph had had to go back to the basics with them, like what she had done with the Dai Li. This had caused some muttering, though her student's doubts had been scattered with some deftly softened earth, trapping them in a hole which only she could break them out of. From the Blind Bandit, they learned respect and discipline, exploring new techniques warily; the pang Toph felt at the thought of another student, another city, was quickly erased as her focus sharpened on a new batch of pupils, her teaching methods as snarky and demanding as ever.

In the night, she would return home sweaty and exhausted, her tongue burning as she gulped down Katara's dishes hastily, sitting down to contemplate the evening on their front porch after. Aang would light candle stubs with his firebending, and Toph would always feel the flames flickering in the sea breeze as Katara's stomach swelled like the crest of the waves hurtling towards their home. Aang would do the dishes while his wife wrote Toph's letters for her, her strokes careful as Toph rattled on about the day's ongoings to her parents and Jin, night gradually falling around them till all was salt and sea.

When Sokka happened to be in the city, though, these routines were eagerly disrupted with the four reuniting over drinks, although Toph and Sokka were the main culprits, since Aang and Katara generally abstained from alcohol. The porch would become full of reminiscent discussions and exciting updates, the sound of the surf providing a pleasant background to their conversations. Unread letters would be tucked away into Katara's desk, patiently waiting for Toph to return from her best friend's apartment in the heart of the city during the weekdays. She'd feel guilty for leaving her correspondents hanging for more than a week as she and Sokka spent the day sparring, working and fine dining, realizing yet again the absence of her inquiry into Jin's life in her previous letter. Only when Sokka slung his arm around her shoulders, or pulled off a decent joke did these thoughts meander away, disspiating into the trails behind, leaving her skin a little more hot, the corners of her lips tilting a little more upwards.

Besides, Toph reasoned; when he was with her, Sokka never did seem to write any letters of his own.

* * *

><p><em>Dear Jin,<em>  
><em>The lily livers I taught have actually progressed a fair bit; most of them can metalbend already, so we've begun to build a bridge linking the city to the mainland. It's massive and requires so much metal, sometimes even I feel overwhelmed. It doesn't help that it's suspended over half a mile of water- we have to use boats to access the bit we're working on, or waterbenders have to help. I can't see the entire time. It's awful.<em>  
><em>Sokka's in talks with the Mechanist to devise some other method of crossing for me. We're going to the Fire Nation to meet him. I sure hope whatever he's come up with works.<em>  
><em>How are you?<em>

Toph fiddled with the chains hesitantly, their loops clinking against one another as she ran her fingers through them. She wound them around her arm, hefting the coil; it felt so light and flexible, unlike the heavy, sturdy materials favored amongst the nations. She was surprised to find that it took more concentration on her part to bend this unfamiliar metal, its breadth bending reluctantly to accommodate the curve of her thumb. Toph relinquished her hold, the metal bouncing back promptly, then lifted her face towards them with her eyebrows raised in mild surprise.

'Wow. They feel so difficult and...' She struggled to find the appropriate terminology. '...Not stable.'

'We've altered the forging process,' the Mechanist explained, 'So that it's much lighter and easier for you to transport these chains. Also, most of the impurities found in the ore, bauxite, have been removed.'

Sokka took over, helping her unravel the chains around her arm. 'That means you'll find it slightly harder to bend, since a lot of the earth is gone, but it's sturdier than it looks.' Seeing her doubtful expression, he added, 'Trust me.'

Toph arched an eyebrow. 'Okay... But _how _is this going to help me, exactly?'

'You know how you can't earthbend yourself up to work on the deck and tower, in case the entire structure collapses?'

'And how the waterbenders have to bend me up to do the job and how I completely hate it? Yes, Captain Boomerang, I do,' she deadpanned.

Toph could feel him rolling his eyes, ignoring the nickname and explaining, 'The idea is for you to wear this harness-' she felt him shuffle over to the nearby worktable, returning to hand her what felt like stiffly woven cloth '-which has loops the chains are clipped to.'

The calluses of his fingers chafed against hers as Sokka guided her hands to the canvas loops sewed around the harness' waistband. Although it was a thoughtful gesture borne from years of friendship, it was a little too close for comfort, and she was adamant she could have done it by herself. Toph swallowed, barely catching his words as she steered her thoughts away from her discomfort. 'That way, you can use your metalbending to hoist yourself up to any height you wish, using the struts around the bridge for support.'

Despite the longing still haunting her, the idea of moving about independently, building the bridge she and Sokka envisioned, was relieving, the new invention a welcome challenge. Toph hitched on her best smile, facial muscles and perfectly nonchalant twang defying the forces of gravity. 'Sweetness. Let's try it.'

She stepped into the harness, pulling it over her pants and clipping the chains through the indicated spaces at the waistband with the help of the Mechanist. She then gathered up the remaining strand, winding some around her right wrist while giving the length between it and her waist some slack. As the inventor stepped away, giving her ample space, Toph cast around for a suitable structure- there, the wooden beam overhead. Without a moment's thought, she focused all her attention on the barely visible earth trapped between metal, drew back her right arm and aimed it towards the heavens.

Sokka, who had been watching, suddenly stepped forward. 'Wait, you might wanna-'

Too late- just as she pumped her clenched fist forward, Toph immediately sensed something was wrong. The metal shot upwards as intended, but instead of coiling around the wooden beam, pierced the slate roof beyond it violently, continuing its journey up into the morning sky.

As the other two ducked for cover, shingles and dust raining down on them, Toph felt the slack disappear. The cold, smooth ore now felt blisteringly hot against her bare wrist, taut and unforgiving around her waist. Her eyes widened as she felt the breath leave her lungs in a whoosh, the areas in contact with the chains suddenly screaming in pain as blood's path was obstructed, the heat growing and spreading as rapidly as the panic seizing her now.

Her body lurched unceremoniously, momentarily airborne before her instincts kicked in- she pulled her weight against the force of her own action, digging her heels into the tiles. Still, she was dragged along before the friction held, surrounding furniture becoming displaced in the process to create a clatter and bang. Toph twisted her feet, raising earthen shackles to hold her down, her body still being pulled in opposite directions. An opposing tug of her left arm caused the mobile chains to sharply decelerate, hurtling back down in a lifeless mass. Just before they collapsed onto her head, Toph fell back into her praying mantis stance, raising a large wedge of earth over her, the chains bouncing off harmlessly to land in an innocent pile at her feet.

When all was quiet, Toph stepped out from under her shelter gingerly, the Mechanist and Sokka emerging, too, from beneath the workbench, everyone unscathed. In silence, they surveyed the damage done: a large portion of blue sky showing through the roof, several potholes and uneven ground, besides the obvious signs of earthbending, and a thick layer of dust covering everything in sight.

She felt Sokka turn to her with a groan and matching glare. In response, she flashed him an apologetic grin, reaching up to tousle the back of her hair and wincing at the twinge of the burns on her forearm.

'Um. Oops?'

* * *

><p><em>Dear Jin,<em>  
><em>I'm sorry for the overdue letter- I've been so busy lately. Anyway, not sure if you've heard, but I've been made Chief of the Metalbending Police! It's a real honor; they had a whole ceremony and everything, and Sokka designed a uniform for us to mark the occasion. It's made of this lightweight metal they just invented and flexible, same as the chains I told you about. He says I look badass in it. I'll bet he's right.<em>  
><em>I bet you're wondering why there's even a law enforcement squad made entirely of metalbenders (all taught by me, of course). <em>  
><em>It all started when Sokka wanted to go shopping.<em>

They were in of Qing Yan, one of the first revamped colonies on the outskirts of Republic City. Sokka had just returned by land from a trip to Ba Sing Se, and Toph had gone to meet him, planning to indulge in some Earth Kingdom fare and shopping.

Over steaming bamboo baskets in a tiny restaurant, they gorged themselves on assorted dim sum and jasmine tea only second to Iroh's, deep in their discussion over current state affairs. Sokka had only stopped stuffing his face long enough to delve into his green satchel, now scuffed and faded, to withdraw a crushed piece of parchment, which he hastily smoothed out before handing it to his companion.

'By the way, I saw Jin. He asked me to give you this.'

Her fingers folding around the crumpled note, Toph frowned at the strange reluctance and abruptness coloring his tone, not to mention the growing apprehension she felt. 'Oh. Uh, thanks.'

She lifted the hem her long tunic, quickly stuffing the paper into the pocket of her harness before letting the fabric fall. It felt bulky in the space she had sewn on herself, struggling with a bone needle as Katara's attentions fell to her newborn child. The letter bumped against the various nuts and bolts residing patiently inside, a reminder of what she had left behind, of what had nearly gotten the better of her. Taking advantage of the brimming tension rising like an invisible wall between them, Toph reached for the last prawn dumpling and splashed it around in some soy sauce, popping it whole into her mouth.

Even when incapacitated, Toph could feel the weight of Sokka's gaze on her and the unusual stillness of his cutlery. 'What?' she managed to squawk out, bits of shrimp splattering the wooden table.

Sokka continued his steady, thoughtful look. 'You know, this is the third time I've been to Ba Sing Se.'

'So I've heard, Mister Obvious.'

'Coincidentally,' he continued over her flippant response, 'It's also the third time you've claimed to have an illness that prevented you from travelling.'

Toph reached for her tea, choking down her half-chewed savoury. 'It was just a twenty-four hour virus this time,' she replied airily with a wave of her chopsticks, then setting them down. 'Nothing to worry about.'

'Right,' Sokka shot back sarcastically. Toph heard the soft clink of metal on wood and rose accordingly; ever the gentleman, he had insisted on paying whenever they went out, and her efforts to treat or go Dutch were always futile. 'Nothing to worry about. Just like last time. _And _the time before that.'

The floor beneath changed from polished wood to rough asphalt. Toph shoved her hand into her pocket, fingering the corner of the letter grumpily. 'I really _was _sick,' she insisted. She convinced herself that she hadn't been lying; the words 'Ba Sing Se' and 'Jin' were sufficient in making her queasy as her stomach twisted up into uncomfortable knots, thus making Toph unfit for the long-haul trip to the heart of the Earth Kingdom.

'Well, next time you're coming with me,' Sokka declared as they manoeuvred their way through the crowded district, twirling his coin pouch around a finger by its drawstrings lazily. 'I don't care how sick you'll be, I'm fed up with being your courier- Hey!'

Absorbed in her own thoughts, Toph had failed to notice the mass of fervent heartbeats and stomping footsteps hurtling towards them. So it was with a belated cry of warning that escaped her mouth as Sokka was crashed into, his coin pouch snatched away from him in the process. Toph struggled to catch her imbalanced companion while flattening her feet into the street, hoping to trip up the thief with her earthbending; however, his booty secured, he had wasted no time in pounding the pavement, skipping nimbly over the low wall she had raised. His movements were soon lost in the surging crowd, his heartbeat growing fainter by the second.

'Snoozles! Are you okay?' Toph shook Sokka, who winced at her grip.

'Just peachy- oh_ crap_, where's my purse?'

If she could have rolled her eyes, she would have. Already reverting back to her search for the bandit, Toph shoved him down onto a nearby stool with a commanding, 'Stay there, and _don't move _till I get back.'

She dove into the masses on the street just as Sokka found his feet being attended to by a cobbler. Her feet were forceful in their steps, creating tremors illuminating her surroundings, aiding her search of her quarry. He was quite a distance away by now, and no matter how hard Toph elbowed her way through, her small frame was at a disadvantage here, larger bodies stubbornly pushing her back, and her pace failed to speed up.

Then she felt the neat loops of her metal chains through her sleeve and felt the spark of an idea. It had been six months since that unfortunate incident at the Mechanist's laboratory, which had given her plenty of time to practice and master the unwieldy mechanisms.

Unclipping them from one of the loops at her waistband, Toph held the slack chains in her right hand while she swung her other arm forward in a gentle but deliberate motion. The perfected move made the shackles come to life, whizzing upwards through the palm of her free hand to latch themselves onto the side of a nearby building. Once the chain had tautened, Toph caught it, allowing the momentum to lift her off of her feet, repeating the action with alternating strands of metal.

Blocking out the gasps of the people below, Toph focused on the thief's weight through the chains that connected her to the buildings, and thus to the earth; his heart sped up as he caught sight of her, and proceeded to plunge even more earnestly into the crowd. She, too, quickened her pace, swinging wildly from the waist of her harness, her breath hitching as she fell and was carried aloft again as her hemline danced in the accompanying wind. Pieces of brick fell away as the chains were retracted, and Toph heard the reproachful shouts of her unintended victims below. But only when she was in prime position did she rapidly withdraw her mode of mobility, pouncing on her prey from twenty feet in the air.

Apparently, he was just as quick as she was, leaping out of the way in the nick of time; Toph felt the hard earth hit her feet instead of soft flesh, and was forced to use her earthbending, molding the ground into soft sand to absorb the shock. She rolled out of the dent she had created, spreading her arms to raise a wall that blocked the thief's chances of escape. Smug now, Toph strode towards him with every intent of using him as a defenseless sparring partner.

To her surprise, he ran towards her conjured wall, flipping over and using it as a springboard for his attack, a knife slicing through her tunic as she fell back. Growling at the burning feeling slashing at her stomach, Toph gathered her trailing chains around her, using their sharp ends to drive the rogue back, wrapping them around his torso and lifting him into the air. With a cry, she swung him around before quickly releasing her binds on him, the force slamming him into the wall of a building behind. She was satisfied to note the large dent left in the stone side, the criminal sliding down to its foot to rest in an unconscious heap.

Once the dust had settled, Toph turned his body over with a bare foot, managing to extract Sokka's pouch from one of the inner pockets of his overcoat. The thing, however, that dampened her triumph was not the fact that her stomach was now stinging with the impact of a blade's tip, her tunic steadily becoming soaked in her own blood. Neither was it the angry swarm gathering around the commotion, ready to tear her head off for destroying their town, nor a disobedient Sokka who had followed her and practically fainted upon taking in her current state.

Instead, it was the absence of a clumsily sewn outer pocket on her harness as Toph returned her chains to their usual spot, only loose threads giving evidence to its alleged existence. Turning to face the path she had taken, Toph heard the nuts and bolts skitter beneath the wheels of ostrich horse-drawn carriages all across town, a close-knit family separating through different alleys and lanes. The breeze pursuing her was picking up now, and she could have sworn that it was giggling in delight as it unfurled the pages of a letter, Jin's words carried away by the breath before a storm. She'd lost something of his, something of hers, and the fact that his ink was being swallowed whole by clouds and bleached into oblivion by the sun was far worse than the fury palpable around her now.

'Shit,' Toph whispered.

* * *

><p><em>Dear Jin,<em>  
><em>I'll be honest now. I'm tired of lying and covering things up. The last time I was sick, I was sixteen. I didn't read your last letter. I lost it. I haven't been busy. Well, I have, but not enough to give you those excuses.<em>  
><em>Forgive me. <em>_I don't want to see you because I'm scared of having such strong emotions for someone who isn't... My best friend, basically. I don't know how to deal with them, and I think it's better to bury them deep inside, or only let you have a glimpse of what I'm stupid enough to let seep out in the letters. I'd hate to complicate matters; I have a life here, and you, there, and it's not fair to either of us to stir things up._  
><em>There's a danger in the distance I'm putting between us; I understand that. But maybe it's for the best; we're both strong individuals who don't need each other, and maybe we've come to create a romanticized idea of each other after all these months. If we see each other, we'd probably be disappointed. I'm as crass as ever, and you're probably smarming it up with those noodlebrains. Actually, I don't really believe that. But still. I'd rather live with my last memory of you, winter rain and the frangipanis your last gift, than come to find that I'm bitterly disappointed in you, just like Sokka.<em>  
><em>I don't know. I'm incoherent. I'm much more used to wanting and longing than having- and I have you, I know I do. I feel it in the way you write your salutations, the smudges of dirt on your letter reminding me of our time together, and the way you wait and listen before speaking, just like I taught you. And when I held your hand, there was this fierce realization of what could be, of how alive you were and I was. I have you. I'm sure of it.<em>  
><em>But I can't let you have me.<em>

The visually impaired residents of the city taught her their language, tiny raised dots transmitting their innermost thoughts to people far away. It was a universal form of communication, capable of being understood by even those with working eyes. Trailing her fingers over the stubborn bumps, Toph experienced the beauty of words and language for the first time, delicate in their physical state but powerful in what they delivered.

She would sit on the porch long after Aang, Katara and Kya had gone to bed, replicating the words learned onto a malleable sheet taken from one of her chains' various loops. Her fingers were careful in their execution, metal rising painstakingly as she probed her heart, contemplating its depths like the ocean stretching out before her. It took her a while to memorize the alphabet, and even longer to carve her thoughts delicately onto the sheet. Toph would rip it accidentally with too vigorous a movement, then sigh and pick up the pieces in resignation, forced to begin her task yet again.

He never received that letter. The morning after its completion, Toph shredded the epistle into even strips of grey luster. Unwilling to carry her burden with her, she molded them into screws that she eventually hammered into the bridge she was building, her silent words holding the massive structure together with the strength of their longing. Though she was desperately tired of pretending, she knew it would, in all probability, break both of them. It was easier to continue the charade, churning out letters of polite correspondence concealing the desires she was stubbornly ignoring, the end of a lit cigar being stubbed out into blackened burns on the street.

The day of the bridge's opening ceremony, Toph refused to set foot on it, fearing her cowardly, selfish words would contaminate the rest of the construction. Watching the city's people stroll across its deck, she groped for Sokka's hand and, upon finding it, held on firmly, convinced the bridge would topple and sink into the murky waters in place of her pride and heart.

Instead, it held, and the shame eating at her became more pronounced than ever when, with his friendly tugs, Toph took her maiden walk down the deck with Sokka. He laughed at her for stepping gingerly, pulling her over to the side to partake in a view of the horizon consisting of the former colonies. They looked up at Aang's statue, Sokka later leaving her to greet his sister and her family. Toph would join them later, but remained immobile for now, listening to the cries of crocogulls on the pier, the salt of the sea grating with her dry, stinging throat.

And Toph swore that when she strained her ears, she could hear all of those letters whispering right back to her.

* * *

><p><strong>AN**: I'm not dead, despite the last update being more than a month ago (welp, don't kill me)! I've been crazy busy with driving lessons, arranging my internship, Tokka Week and catching up with friends, so I haven't been on the internet for a while.

Now to the (filler-like) chapter where time is added- this is one of those rare ones where I molded my entire plot on the song, which is about long-distance relationships. Her letters span about twelve to eighteen months, and aim to show the deliberate distance Toph is putting between herself and Jin, due to work commitments, their personal lives and also Sokka, who's now constantly beside her. It isn't fair to keep 'leading' Jin on when Toph still has fragments of feelings for Sokka, but that is what she does, despite her growing guilt about it. At the end, she tries to stop, but backs out at the last minute because of her own reciprocating feelings and buries her emotions. I hoped I showed her as inwardly confused despite being adamant that things cannot and will not work out between the two of them- Toph has hit rock bottom once because of love, and she refuses to put herself in such a vulnerable position again. The fact that the bridge holds hints at the strength of Toph and Jin's relationship- hope you guys got that!

Oh, and for those of you who're wondering, I intended Toph's harness thing to be similar to those worn while rock-climbing, with the chains forming a belt around her waist. She has to thread the strands by hand, giving her even more calluses and blisters. It's meant to be slightly uncomfortable, since technology is still on its uphill climb, and is the predecessor of the metalbending cops' uniform in LoK.

Phew, okay, now that that's off my chest, I want to thank all you lovely people: **aangismyhomie**, **Immortal Bubblewrap**, **Jaziswhatyouwant**,** Daisy312**, **mrsmonkeyxx**, **fukaimoriMidori**, **FallenStarx3**, **guyw1tn0nam3**, **Invaderk**, **13designershoes**,** Justice333**, **Blanc Expression**, **limegreenwordmachine**,** tomboy_26**,** CrazyDyslexicNerd**,**Sokka's Fan-Lawyer,** and** **D3stiny-Smasher**.** Your feedback has been so generous and helpful in improving my writing.

As always, please R&R, with all comments, critiques and suggestions very welcome! :)


	14. Beach

_Boy and Bear - Beach_

* * *

><p>The thing she liked most was flying.<p>

Or the sense of it, really. Toph lived for the fall, for that heart-stopping moment when she had no clue as to how close or far away the earth was. It all came down to her instincts, to how in tune she was with the earth, pushing her courage and recklessness to the limits that sometimes, her feet would brush and skid across the hard floor before she hauled herself back up. It was strange and hypocritical for her to love it as much as she did, the blind earthbender who kissed the ground after two lengthy days of flying, but addicted she was.

Toph loved relying on one arm only, teetering on the edge of a support before stepping forward, feet finding nothingness, her heart pumping frenetically as the roll of chain unfurled behind her. The gravitational force would buffet her hair and clothes into a tangle fighting the direction taken, the wind screaming as it rushed past her face, her body hurtling determinedly towards the concrete below. Her favorite part, though, was the instance where she withdrew the metal looped securely around her support, the bauxite screeching and igniting flying sparks as it was retracted back into the arm of her uniform.

For a fleeting second, Toph would be airborne, suspended in midair with neither ties to the vast sky nor the comforting earth, a miniature figurine awaiting death tossed against the backdrop of the city. Her heart would pound frantically as she descended, time slipping away like the height lost. She felt small but alive and ready, the ethereality enhanced by the exhilaration of blood rushing to her head, and she felt like she could, finally, breathe again.

Then, when she had borne all she could, Toph would punch her other arm upwards, the chains bursting from their hidden reel and winding around or latching onto another support she had previously scouted, a year's worth of the city's nooks and crannies squirreled away into her memory. They would become taut before her feet could brush the ground, pulling her up to land safely on the rooftop of another building before she set off again to the next ledge, her feet scanning the activities present within her radius. The whole cycle would repeat as she continued her patrol of the city, heart pumping, adrenaline rushing, smile stretching serenely to touch the ends of her new fringe.

'Auntie Toph!'

The childlike call made Toph pause in mid-stride on the roof of the Merchants' Hostel, temporary living quarters for traders arriving from abroad to carry out business in the city. She was completing her late-morning patrol on the southern border, ending with a schlep across the docks facing the endless Earth Kingdom waters. She looked forward to the end of this routine; besides the promise of a quick tea break back at headquarters to rejuvenate her, Toph anticipated the hustle and bustle of the piers, often stopping to peruse the goods at the makeshift stalls for possible presents to give to the various children of her friends. Sometimes, the immigration officers would catch sight of her and coax her to greet the newcomers; despite her inherent bashfulness when announced as the Chief of the Metalbending Police Force, Toph found it heartening that Aang and Zuko's dream of an amalgamated society was finally coming true, with her as the guardian and maintainer of this new reality.

'_Auntie Toph!' _The cry came again, more insistent and louder than before, its source directly beneath her and piercing the muted hubbub with its chiming quality.

This time, she recognized the voice; her face alight with surprise, Toph ceased her balancing act on the ridge and slid down the roof's field, the shingles giving her a bumpy ride. Upon reaching the gutter, which marked the end of her journey, Toph leapt off the roof, pumping her fists outwards to her sides. The metal shackles sprung from her wrists, wrapping themselves around two poles flanking the hostel, straining beneath her weight as she lowered herself down onto the ground. Barely had she retracted the chains did a small mass cannon into Toph, burying his head into her thigh and squealing with excitement and rapture.

'Hey there, buddy, careful!' she laughed, tugging gently at the pack strapped onto Koda's back. She felt him stagger back, his facial muscles tired in their exertion but still stretched from ear to ear as he flung his arms around her, his fingertips unable to meet around her girth.

'Hi,' came his voice, muffled due to his face being pressed into her uniform's leg.

Still recovering from this pleasant surprise, Toph felt footsteps approaching, reverberating through the wooden platform. Though she could not feel his heartbeat clearly, she knew, as she looked up and uttered his name, she was entirely correct in her assumption and the resulting warmth spreading through her chest.

'_Snoozles_?' A happy laugh left Toph as she reached out to grasp his reaching hand. 'What're you doing here so early? I thought you weren't due for another week!'

'Hello to you, too, Toph,' Sokka grinned in reply, bending down to glance a peck off her cheek as he reached them. His lips felt dry and chapped from the days at sea, though none of his old warmth had been sapped by the chilly environment. The contact provoked a momentary high coursing through her veins, capillaries shuddering with pleasure and prompting faster flow making her shift sheepishly beneath her fitted outfit. However, Toph merely returned the gesture with a bashful smile and ducked her head in, knowing her recently trimmed bangs would do little to hide the blush she knew was coming.

Koda lifted his head, watching Toph's diverted attention with reproach and tugging her hand to attract it back. 'I missed you!'

'Yeah, that's why we're here so soon. _Mister Impatient _couldn't wait to begin earthbending training again,' Sokka reached down and pretended to tweak Koda's nose, eliciting a burst of giggles from his young son.

'Oh, really?' Kneeling down till she was his height, Toph tilted her head so that Koda could see her eyes, her next words solemn for his benefit. 'And has my young pupil been training all this while?'

'Yeah!' As if struck by a sudden thought, Koda plunged a hand into his pocket and dug around, pulling out a fistful of small rocks. 'Look what Uncle Aang taught me!'

His tongue sticking out between his lips in concentration, Koda manipulated the assorted stones into a circle between his palms, then began rotating them at progressively higher speeds. The young earthbender peeked up at his teacher, flashing a cheeky grin that quickly turned to surprise as he lost control of the objects. Leaving their orbit and spinning haphazardly, they would have zoomed across the pier if Toph had not acted quickly, raising her arms in a cross to deflect one enthusiastic stone. She then flicked her wrists and averted the others onto the pier, where they bounced along merrily before rolling to a stop some distance away.

Sokka groaned and hurried to retrieve the fallen rocks, dodging harried travellers and their cumbersome belongings. Upon returning, not without some difficulty with the congregating masses, he took his son's hand and reprimanded sternly, 'Koda, what did I say about learning tricks from Uncle Aang?'

'Not to?'

'Exactly.'

Toph smirked as Koda pushed out his lower lip stubbornly. 'C'mon, Koda, say sorry to Daddy.' Out of the corner of her mouth, she added, 'Don't worry, I'll teach you how to master it later.'

He immediately relented. 'Sorry, Daddy,' he mumbled, penitent in tone but eyes shining at the promised treat.

She could feel Sokka practically rolling his eyes as he hefted his bag higher onto his shoulder, shaking his head in resignation. Grinning surreptitiously at Koda, Toph stood back up, her fingers seeking his short wolftail and giving it a playful tug, his unevenly cut hair ticklish against her palm. 'C'mon, champ. Let's get you settled at home.'

Taking his minuscule knapsack from Koda, Toph fell into a familiar walk with Sokka, allowing the former to skip ahead but keeping watchful feet and eyes on him respectively. The two males had visited Republic City often enough to know the way back to Aang's former home, now bequeathed to Toph. Her housemates had moved out soon after Katara's subsequent pregnancy, she and Sokka pitching in to build and bend their new isle and it's buildings over the past year. It was only half-finished, but looked proudly over the docks they had just left and was visible from her beach, commanding more grandeur and privacy than their previous home.

Although there was ample room on the christened Air Temple Island just a boat ride away, and although the couple always welcomed family, Toph knew Sokka preferred to room with her, whether accompanied by Koda or not. It wasn't just the 'oogies' that caused him to shy away- it was _her _and their friendship that made them inseparable, even as adults with obligations that demanded their time and industry. As much as Toph loved her job busting the baddies, Sokka remained a bright spot in her life, sustaining their youth by throwing a wrench into Republic City's works with their own brand of mischief and avoiding the very authorities she headed, while lapsing into amiable discourse with their feet half-submerged in the saltwater as the day grew old with them. To each other, they were rapid winds whipped up to chase away the stifle of their time apart, blessings disguised as pure breaths of air on the porch, steam spiked with a dash of alcohol rising to filter through their nostrils as Koda shook the sand beneath.

His choice did make her heart swell, dragon's wings catching North's breath and taking flight, but she always made up for it, suppressing and checking her head by organizing daily trips to visit his sister and her family. Sokka's city apartment was left vacant and dusty as a result, but Toph enjoyed their presence lighting up the lonely atmosphere of her house, animated conversation and gentle chiding filling the gaping, empty spaces around her. Home never felt complete without warm bodies and the sound of steady breathing wafting through the witching hour; love, too, was absent in everywhere Toph had stayed, her mind passing over her time at Ba Sing Se in particular due to its unsettling exception. For hours, her adrenaline from the day's work would keep pumping, keeping her awake and unseeing in the dark, her home distant and cold with its weathered floorboards and the absence of a comforting attendance. Thus it was no surprise to her that she had passed many a night alone on the porch, bundled up with cold tea for company and listening to the waves break to tame her insomnia, her feet tucked to the side to think of Jin and Sokka and not feel.

Their small band exited the harbor and headed east, entering a dense forest whose greenery was interrupted only by a dirt path beaten down by the occasional foot. Most arrivals now headed directly into the popular districts via the brick road built by her own hands, and thus the seclusion of Toph's home was maintained. As the noise of the piers gave way to the muted lush of the trees, she felt Koda skip further ahead nimbly, his hands caressing against the peeling bark of trees passed, pausing to bend down and examine a flower whose smell she could not identify. Toph trembled slightly as she felt the unexpected roughness of Sokka's hand clasping her own, turning her attention from the child to share an expression of question with her best friend.

'You don't need to watch him like that, you know,' came his amused voice, her fingers being squeezed lightly. 'He can take care of himself.'

She gave a short bark of laughter, flattered that he had been watching her long enough to read her thoughts. 'Koda's four, Snoozles. Besides, there could be pirates in these woods.'

'You were five when you ran away to the badger moles. And don't pretend like these woods are dangerous- you'd never bring us through if they were.'

Toph made an indelicate noise of assent, threading her fingers through Sokka's so that their digits lay side by side, compact, a continuous line of alternating lengths and shades that exuded companionship and warmth. They always did fit nicely together. 'You act like I'm over-protective,' she huffed, swinging her head but forgetting her bangs were no longer hanging down to her cheeks.

'You kind of are,' Sokka pointed out, his thumb rolling over her knuckle. Observing her furrowed brow, the corner of his mouth quirked up. 'Considering your parentage... It's ironic, isn't it?'

'Psh,' Toph huffed back haughtily, 'If _this_ is your parenting style, I sure hope Suki has more sense than to be so lax.'

Immediately, she was sorry that she had uttered such a reproving answer devoid of a respectable thinking process. At once, Sokka slipped his hand away, his fingers loosening around hers and escaping like cupped water to hang by his side in defeat. She felt his heart increase to a ferocious pace, tumultuous vibrations rocking the forest floor they tramped along. There was no anger, however, in his posture, merely certain misery and frustration in the clench of his jaw, the bow of his head.

'Yeah, not quite,' he replied, sotto voce, inaudible if not for her acute sense of hearing.

As she opened her lips in surprise, her expression confusion and inquiring, Sokka turned away and accelerated his pace to catch up with his son, his voice blithely cheerful as he stooped to examine a bug Koda was showing him. When Toph caught up to them, Sokka affixed Koda's hand in his and pulled him away from the insect, father and son walking side by side in front of her to take up the trail's width. Knowing it was his way of avoiding her and the uncomfortable subject she had inadvertently raised, Toph fell behind Sokka, monitoring the boys' progress through the thick. They walked towards her home in silence only penetrated by the occasional murmur of Koda's babble and the dry crunch of dead leaves, brittle nervures crumpling and breaking beneath their heavy footsteps and burdened weight.

It had been ignorant of Toph to mention his wife; she had suspected that the couple had been estranged for some time, using the lacking updates of Suki as reference. Besides, Sokka was a busy man, acting as a consulting architect-cum-inventor to United Republic while maintaining the ties between the other existing nations and his homeland. Suki, on the other hand, was chiefly involved in the expansion and training of the Kyoshi Warriors, therefore hardly straying from the eponymous island.

As a result, they saw little of each other over the four years since their marriage, briefly reuniting for a few months upon Koda's birth before Sokka returned to his duties. While she enjoyed his regular company, Toph thought Sokka could have made a greater effort to ease the strain in his family by taking his work less seriously; she couldn't help but feel pity for their son, being shuttled from place to place in order to spend equal time with both parents. Now, though, she was felt it was wiser to trudge on with her mouth shut, these thoughts occupying her as the moist soil faded into fine sand, the murmur of horse crickets replaced by washing surf to signal their arrival home.

They ascended the rickety steps, creaking pitifully beneath their combined weight. Toph fumbled in her inner pocket for her key as grains of sand chafed between her sole and the wooden porch, Koda beginning to yawn as the effects of his long voyage set in. Once she had procured the metal object, she unlocked the door, throwing it open to allow the now-needed light to filter in and continuing to the guest rooms to draw dusty curtains and crank various rusted windows open. Breathing deeply, the stale air was infiltrated by the gust rolling in with the waves, shore salt dispelling any smell of negligence of Toph's housekeeping. She propped her elbows on the sill, taking care not to scratch her uniform as she let the room air in the sea breeze. Her fringe fanned gently to the side to obscure her left eye, while her right peered outwards to take in the beach vacantly.

Her mind was still on the subject of Sokka. Every time he paid her a visit- higher in frequency than those expeditions to Suki, Toph realised with a glowing pang- his first greeting to her would be a kiss, tender against her dirty cheek. They were comfortable with one another, his hands finding her waist, her head his shoulder as they settled to take in an evening on the porch. These gestures were only ever carried out when they were alone, moments that made Toph's heart fly before her brain could restrain its wings, a smile consuming her face. She could not help it; she felt virtuous during these instances, devouring the intimacy between them, only to have shame blistering her pride as soon as his ship departed, leaving distaste frothing in her mouth in its wake.

Exhaling heavily at this stain blotting the otherwise good times, Toph felt Sokka leave the room next door, in which Koda had settled, and approach this one, but remained rooted to her position as she stared out of the window ineffectively.

'Hey,' his soft call came from the doorway to the room, his feet padding over the flagstones in their penguinskin boots. 'Do you think I could get some blankets or something? Koda's kinda tired.'

She grimaced at her thoughtlessness, hurrying to Aang's old cupboard to withdraw some pillows and duvets. 'Yeah, ugh,' she mumbled, shaking her head as if waterlogged. 'Sorry, I was just...'

'Thinking?' Sokka asked, receiving a stack of bed things from Toph, a wry crook to his lips.

'Something like that,' she stated reluctantly, quickly changing the subject. 'Are you guys hungry? I'm heading back to headquarters for a while, I'll take the rest of the day off and send a hawk to Twinkletoes. We can have dinner tonight, if you want, I can stop at the market on the way home-'

'Toph.'

Sokka's voice was commanding with a hint of remorse and sympathy she could not quite understand. She ground her babbling to a halt, wincing at how characteristic of her that was, switching routes when things concealed became too uncomfortable, especially with her thoughts' object standing right there.

'What?' was her innocent reply.

Sokka struggled for a moment. 'About just now... I'd just prefer if-'

She understood his intent. 'No problem.'

'No, let me explain-'

'You don't want to talk about it. I _get_ it, Sokka. It's fine.'

Sokka pinched the bit where his brows met in response, a customary gesture whenever he was frustrated. 'Look, it's not that things are bad-'

'Sokka. It's. _Fine_.'

Toph practically growled the word out; it sounded so at odds with her reassuring words that she nearly laughed in spite of herself. The truth was, she was only being partially honest. The part who was Sokka's best friend wanted him to divulge everything plaguing him so that they might think of solutions or engage in activities to drown away his sorrows, while the rest of her would have been sincerely happy to avoid any mention of him and Suki, 'them', a collective that excluded her. While he was here, he was her best friend and partner-in-crime alone, and Toph wanted as little reminder of his wife as possible lest the memories of her breakdown come back to haunt her again.

She felt him stand there in confusion, biting his lower lips painfully and unsure of whether Toph was furious or plain placating. She attempted to lighten the mood by cracking a smile, prodding the bedsheets into his chest. 'Really. Now, are you gonna make his bed, or do you want the blind woman to do it?'

Sokka laughed at this; inwardly, she let out a sigh of relief, grateful that she had successfully dispelled the tension that had gripped the two of them for the past half an hour or so. She could tell it wasn't the obliging chuckle that was present at Katara's slew of humor, but one that was genuine, emanating from and busting at his gut, no matter how many times the typical joke was repeated. As the fullness died down, Toph felt his facial muscles tense in a smile, the corners of her own lips tugging up in expectance.

He began backing out of the room. 'Yeah, I'd better do it.'

'And_ I'd _better go,' Toph put in with playful groan, following Sokka out into the hallway. 'They'll be wondering where I am.'

'About the market... Do you think-'

She knew what was on his mind and adopted the appropriate bright tone. 'Seal jerky?' '

'Yeah.' Toph grinned in her small triumph. 'I mean, we're having it here, right?'

'I'm on it, and we should be. Although,' she put in thoughtfully, 'I _have_ been practicing my cooking lately. You could take a break this time and let me handle the wok.'

'And leave you to scorch the kitchen?' Sokka sounded amused as their footsteps slowed as they approached the next room. 'I saw the burns on the stove on the way in.'

'Ah.' Toph had forgotten about those- her attempt at making stir-fried noodles for dinner had been disastrous. The flames had been fanned to too great a height to lick the walls of the kitchen, the heat prompting her feet to shift and summon the sand stored in a bucket below the sink to put out the fire. In the end, she had had to throw out the meal and settle for soggy sandwiches at the market district. '_Yeah_. Heh. Maybe next time when I've got the hang of it, then.'

'It's a date.' She could feel his cheerful smile directed at her, and the uniform that he had designed became claustrophobic once again. Toph swallowed and forced her mind back to the present, away from the inappropriate choice of words.

'Well, uh,' she began to back away, continuing down the hall but remained facing him. 'I should get going now.'

''Kay.' Toph shot him one last smile and pivoted on her heel, bounding towards the door in anticipation of a good meal later. He had stopped outside the next room, Koda's heavy breaths apparent through the door left ajar in the stagnant air of her home. 'And Toph?'

One foot over the threshold, she paused without turning back; she didn't need to. 'Yeah?'

'Thanks.'

High tide and his voice a storm in her ears, Toph's mouth twitched to the side in sad pleasure, catching stray strands of her hair. He had seen her trying, known the equal difficulties the situation presented them both- it made her ache, all this seeming like a waste even though she would never give it up for neither riches nor glory. After all this time, and still she loved the meaning behind a simple word of gratitude, despair disappearing like blown sand into the wind.

Only a split second did she freeze, these emotions and realizations swirling within her. Then she drew breath and continued on her way, letting the door swing to a close behind her, but not before giving a short reply that might have seemed cold, but which Sokka correctly inferred was merely suppressive:

'I'll be back in an hour.'

* * *

><p><strong>AN**: What's that? No, I'm not dead- guys, I am so sorry for the sparse updates, but real life (driving lessons, university applications, internships and my horrific A Level results) have gotten the better of me.

Thank you to the people who have stuck with me all this while- **CrazyDyslexicNerd**, **Sokka's Fan-Lawyer**, **guyw1tn0nam3**, **Spry**, **13designershoes**, **Justice333**, **winterxlove**, **tomboy_26**, **Invaderk**, **SilverShadow3**, **D3stiny-Sm4sher** and **FallenStarx3**. Your reviews have been both encouraging and reflection-provoking, and I hope I've made improvements to this chapter accordance to your feedback!

So this chapter was intended to have more plot and less description, but looks like I got carried away there. My state of writing has been less than satisfactory- I seem to be repeating the same thing over and over again, so I wanted to try something fresh by having heavy dialogue and descriptions here. The theme is family and love, with a dash of quick updates about current life in Republic City.

I made Koda an earthbender so that Toph would be drawn to him, acting as a teacher-cum-stand-in-for-Suki, rather than a different kind of bender or not one at all. This gives Sokka the added excuse of bringing his son for lessons and also allows Toph to be integrated into, and become a big part of, his life. Thus, the constant exposure sparks off this new territory they're exploring here, where they escape the frustrations and responsibilities of everyday life to find solace with each other. More of Suki will be revealed later- I had to split my outline into two chapters to avoid an overwhelming number of words.

Also, please listen to the song (apologies for my preference for lesser-known tunes), I came across it quite by chance after I had written this and I think it fits the themes here perfectly.

Hope you enjoyed what I've written, along with the beautiful, scenic song to accompany it (which also reflects the setting, by the way). All criticisms, comments, etc. are welcome x


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